And So The Nightmare Begins.

School has started! And I am finding it so hard to get motivated to study. Well wouldn't you find it hard too if you have a textbook like mine? Look at it!

A few days ago I was telling my dear friend Aarthi "Isn't it funny how we start school with the best of intentions to study, but by the end of semester we just can't be bothered to go to lectures?" Well with a textbook like that, all the good intentions in the world won't be able to help me.

I will need to bring out my colorful highlighters and concentrate very intensely.

Let the torture commence!

Aging Scares Me

I don't know if anyone else has ever experienced this, and I don't know if I'm just being paranoid or overreacting. But I'm really afraid of aging.

Just a while ago, my family (extended with grandparents) went to the airport to send off my young uncle. He lives in Northern Ireland and comes every half a year or so he comes to Singapore for a month to visit us and his friends and especially his mom, dad and aunt.

Recently my grandmother sprained her spine twice in just one month. She is now unable to walk for any period of time, and now takes her meals upstairs in her room because it hurts her too much to walk down the stairs.

While I was in Northern Ireland, every time I came to visit I was struck by how much she has shrunk. I certainly have not grown taller, and I chalked it up to imagining her as being bigger than she really is.

However after spraining her spine I realised just how much she has shrunk. She has grown weaker, smaller. Obviously she's not able to do what she used to.

Watching my uncle say goodbye to my grandmother today has brought to my attention just how limited the time I have with my grandparents is. My usually cheerful uncle would stop smiling when he said his farewell to his mom. He knows just as well as we do that each time he leaves, there's a very real chance of it being the last time he ever sees her. Now, more than ever, there's a chance that this goodbye could be the very last.

This scares me. On the ride home I thought about how much time I have left with my grandmother and grandaunt. Looking at the two tiny frames sitting beside me, I thought about the two women who raised me up. For the first 12 years of my life they were the most prominent people in my tiny existence.

I'm not being stupid about this. I knew all along that Death would come to everyone eventually. I just did not realise that death would come to those so close to my heart.

I know that my grandma is far from fit. She is certainly not fit enough to make the meatballs I love so much (I now have a scar on my lip because of those meatballs). And she is most certainly not fit enough to run after me while I escape with that extra slice of cheese when I was 6. Thinking about all those little things that my grandma and grandaunt did for me, it never fails to make me cry when I start thinking about how one day they will never be around again.

As shallow as this is, I wonder if my grandmother ever thinks about how things were when she was young and fit. I wonder if they have anything that they regretted. And most of all, I wonder if I would be able to remember them when I am just as old as them.

See, as much as I want to start a family, I don't think beyond having a baby. It's just so hard to get my mind wrapped around having adult children. No matter how hard I try, I find it really hard to think about myself being in the same position as my grandmother is in now.

Before my mind gets blown, I have to remember that I'm still only 20 going on 21. I still have the first semester of the second year of university to go through (that'll be stressful). I still have to send Saheed off to army and wait for two years before he's a civilian again.

On a smaller scale, I have a little excess weight I want to get off. So I still have to go to the gym tomorrow. And I still have a teeny tiny gathering of three people after gym. We're going to go to a dimsum buffet.

During times when I'm so very depressed and sad, sometimes I guess I just have to get through things one day at a time.

Fishy!

Today was Delphian Rose's first gig in a long time and I was asked to help them photograph the event. It was a sorta band gathering, so it had a relaxed atmosphere and stuff. As great as the gig was, I found myself very distracted by the cute little fishies that were in the bar. So I took a couple of pictures.

Can you imagine just how much rock those goldfish have heard in their lifetime? I have no idea if they enjoy rock but I guess they haven't really got a choice. :P

I just love the way the tail looks so swishy in this picture :)

Mmmm Foood..

Last Sunday was my cousin's wedding day. It was a really nice wedding, great ambience, so romantic and all that. But one thing that really caught me was the dessert. It was baked chocolate pudding.

Now, I love chocolate as much as the other girl and after reading that on the menu I can't help but feel excited for dessert.

It didn't disappoint. The outside was crumbly and warm, and in the inside was this irresistably rich, thick chocolate sauce that just blows you away.

That day, was the first time I became speechless after I ate something. It was that good. I'm not kidding!!

Ahhhh, I've got my priorities right. Well done me.

Magic Hair!

Should I say it? I mean, it's a big thing to admit to...

I think....that I have magic hair.

It all started back in NI when Nanny's grandchild came to visit. He was a grown up and he already had three children, one of whom was a baby toddler. He kept wanting to be carried by me, in spite of all the other people surrounding him with open, loving arms. But nooo, he chose me instead. Stretching out his arms towards mee! The moment he got into my arms he grabbed onto my hair and started playing. See? Look at how my wonderful hair attracts people.

My magical hair can also work on animals. Eventually Auntie Heather got two Yorkshire terrier puppies. Everytime the jumped onto my lap, they'd go straight to my hair, chewing on it and whatnot. They were tiny! And soo adorable.

Then came my guinea pigs. I realised that with both Toffee and Sweetpea, they love running towards my hair the moment they notice my hair is untied and they'd bury their heads in it. Cuteness is unbearable. Just an hour ago, during cuddle time with Sweetpea, she kept running towards he hair on my chest and putting her head in it. She likes to sleep lying on her side. Toffee, she would sit on my tummy and run up toward the hair on my shoulders, and sometimes even go to the back of my neck. She's an adventurous one ^^

Ahhh. Having magic hair is a large responsibility indeed :P

The Meal of Happiness

Yesterday I went grocery shopping with my mom, and at the "Bakery needs" aisle, (seriously? Bakery needs? I guess flour is pretty essential in baking. But still..) I found a bottle of hundreds and thousands. When I was really young, like 5, my mom used to put hundreds and thousands into my bread just to make me eat it.

My mom bought it!!!

And this morning I had hundreds and thousands on bread and butter for breakfast. It looks so happy! Look at all that happy colour. Ahhh...that, my friends, is The Meal of Happiness. :)

Sunset at Pasir Ris

I'm feeling a little lazy today so here's a photo of a gorgeous sunset.

I'm FREEEE

Hey everyone! I'm finally free of my exams. It's such a wonderful feeling even though I'm still sick and stuff.

I haven't been gymming alot, and I haven't been controlling my diet so diet-wise...not so good. However! I went to gym yesterday and I realised I only put on 0.5kg which is pretty good considering I've been reaching out to potato chips and chocolate pretty much on a daily basis.

Next up, the babies are doing great! Sweetpea is such a sweetheart. Toffee is really the more dominant one, so she doesn't seem as dependent on me as Sweetpea. But that's ok. Here's what they look like now:

Sweetpea sometimes sleeps on my chest and Toffee loves to stand on my shoulder and just look at everything. I heard guinea pigs are short sighted though so I cannot imagine what she could be seeing that's so interesting.

Both of them are kinda toilet trained now. About 75% of the poop goes into the litter tray which is brilliant! And Sweetpea refuses to pee on me. Haha. I was sitting down with her while studying and she was just chilling in the folds of my very large shirt when suddenly she started fussing and running around. In spite of giving her a little treat (a tiny piece of apple) she still wouldn't settle. This went on for a good half hour before I put her back into the cage. After which she promptly backed up a few steps and started peeing. Such a good girl ^^

I'm just done cleaning their cage and because both of them have been sitting in their weewee they need a little butt bath. Sweetpea hated it. She also hates that brush that I use.

Again in other news! I rebonded my hair to make my fringe (and my mane) more manageable. I kinda miss my curls. But who knows maybe I would wait till my real hair grows to an acceptable length and cut it really short. Maybe when I've lost enough weight so I don't look like a butch. I wasn't in the best of moods yesterday but let's not get into that.

I also got a new phone! A Samsung Galaxy Ace. Saheed chose it for me, seeing as I have no idea what to choose. There were so many choices! Here is the phone cover which I customised on my own cos I was bored.

That's all I have for today. For the one remaining reader who made it here, you get a prize!

It's a picture of a 3 week old white teddy guinea pig. Her name is Sheepy and she already has an owner. But the sight of her really makes me smile. Look at how fluffy she is!!!

This and That

So, it seems like I'm an ex Singapore Poly student now heehee.

Nah, I just got that shirt from Saheed's place. It's so comfy and the laundry soap smells so amazing. I love the smell of fresh laundry.

In other news, I might have accidentally pulled a muscle in my right leg. It really hurts and feels so uncomfortable. Hurts to walk down the stairs.

Exams are looming up like some poisonous pollution cloud. First exam is on Saturday! 7th of May to be exact. And between you and me, I don't feel prepared for it at all. Cue Toccata and Fugue.

Just feel like blogging today. I didn't accomplish much, went to Saheed's and caught up with Season 4 of Big Bang Theory. Cos it's so much more important than some silly final year exam yea?

I have rocks for brains.

However! Sheldon is so adorably annoying! It's so hilarious to see a socially handicapped genius call himself the "life of the group" or the "whimsical elf". Love it.

Tired tired. Why am I so tired!

By the way, received some money for volunteering in a research yesterday. $115 in total for about 5 hours of sitting in an MRI scanner and performing tasks. It would have been fun if my stupid body would get better and not cough. You guys should try it if you're in need of money. The research is to find the causes of schizophrenia and you'll have to go for two sessions with a psychologist. For each session you get $50. Then there's the MRI scan which is $100 a session. They'll do the same thing every six months for two years. So it's...stable income?

Yea. If you're interested check them out. I personally did it for the money at first but now I'm really eager to know what happens when the research is all done. Here is the link to their Facebook page. If you're one of those odd people who don't believe in Facebook, here is the link to their official website.

Yep. Seeing as I'm so terribly tired, I'm probably gonna try to go to sleep now. Nighty night y'all.