Thursday, December 17, 2009

Well well...

My body is not co-operating with me, neither is my emotional self. I fell and twisted my ankle in Malaysia. In addition to that, my emotional self is telling me that I should be with Ryan and that I should go go GO! get him.

Uh huh.

I hate it when I'm all issue-y like that. I like it better when I'm free and stuff. So...I shall pray for everything to sort itself out. I mean, I'm so pathetic! I should stop listening to my heart. As much as I want to, I have to stop. Cos my heart is too soft. She gets me into trouble and pain. Fine, I wouldn't have had such an amazing time in NI if I didn't listen to my heart and got together with Ryan. But then again, what if I ignored it? What if...I didn't get together with him? We might've just been friends and been much happier now. I guess. But would I have been happier? That's the question.

Nevermind. There's no sense in dwelling in the past. Now I shall just try to move on the best I can. I did! But he f***ed my mind up. Seriously, it ain't fair. But I shouldn't have been so dumb to think he'd still love me that way. Damn damn damn.

Tis all my fault so it is. I seriously want to cry :(

Damn I wish I would stop being such a crybaby :'(

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