Played Mario Kart so much today! It's sooo fun! Even though I'm completely useless at it. But who cares? I get last every single time and the only people I beat are the computers and occasionally people who make stupid mistakes.
Workload is still steadily piling up and I'm steadily depleting it. More or less anyway.
Off to do my work now! Sorry for this real short post. Will try to make up for it sometime! Byeee!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Shall Make It A Short One.
I am so so sooo into Fairy Tail right now. Nearly didn't finish my work between Fairy Tail and Nintendogz, I have barely enough time for anything else. Including Ryan. Yepz.
And he is a little bit peeved at me for devoting so much of my precious little time to comics and games. I myself have never imagined to have so much of my time devoted to fun and games. So this is the power of electronics. Wow. They sap my attention so much so that I can't think about anything else. Absolutely Amazing.
Anyway, got to go. 'Cos I'm going to read Fairy Tail online! ^____^
Oh oh oh! Wait! And my work place gave me another shift!! Next Sunday, from 1pm to 8pm I shall be working my little butt off. Yay! And I got £24.25 for the five hour shift I worked on the 6th of September. ^__^
Here's to my happy reading! (and here is a random quote because I can't be bothered looking for a proper one. I literally clicked at a random place on the page. So don't blame me if it is really out of point.)
"The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis." -Dante Alighieri
And he is a little bit peeved at me for devoting so much of my precious little time to comics and games. I myself have never imagined to have so much of my time devoted to fun and games. So this is the power of electronics. Wow. They sap my attention so much so that I can't think about anything else. Absolutely Amazing.
Anyway, got to go. 'Cos I'm going to read Fairy Tail online! ^____^
Oh oh oh! Wait! And my work place gave me another shift!! Next Sunday, from 1pm to 8pm I shall be working my little butt off. Yay! And I got £24.25 for the five hour shift I worked on the 6th of September. ^__^
Here's to my happy reading! (and here is a random quote because I can't be bothered looking for a proper one. I literally clicked at a random place on the page. So don't blame me if it is really out of point.)
"The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis." -Dante AlighieriSaturday, September 27, 2008
Oh-So-Tired
I'm so tired today..So I'll just talk more tomorrow. Hopefully will be going to bed soon.
Been busy doing anything but studying. Borrowed a game from Auntie Alison-Nintendogz! It's so much fun and I can't stop playing it. Also been reading comics which Greg lent me. It's called Fairy Tail and it's such a good read. Getting used to reading lots now. But, homework is piling up slowly and so, have to prioritize tomorrow. Yes! Tomorrow is the day I do work! (Yea right. Just watch me fail and come moping to this blog tomorrow about not keeping my resolutions)
Been busy doing anything but studying. Borrowed a game from Auntie Alison-Nintendogz! It's so much fun and I can't stop playing it. Also been reading comics which Greg lent me. It's called Fairy Tail and it's such a good read. Getting used to reading lots now. But, homework is piling up slowly and so, have to prioritize tomorrow. Yes! Tomorrow is the day I do work! (Yea right. Just watch me fail and come moping to this blog tomorrow about not keeping my resolutions)
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Grrr...
The demon spawn are at the back of the bus again today because they were given a chance to get onto the bus first. Yes, I just said demon spawn. They were noisy again today. Or maybe it's because my ears have lost some of their hearing due to the high pitched wailing and screaming going on at the back for the past few days. Oh when will this ever end?
On a lighter note, pimple has ceased to look like an insect bite and has shrunk just that teeny wee bit to look like a proper pimple. Even better, I don't have a tiny dot of pus in the middle. And Ryan didn't notice it at all ^____^
I love my skin.
Sometimes I surprise myself with how self-loving I am. All that fuss over a pimple. But then again, it wasn't any old pimple. It was one which hurt!
Dropped Lilly (the Yorkshire puppy) by accident last night. I felt so bad! She jumped out of my arms while I was halfway lowering her down and from my hip to the ground, one of her little bones in her knee twisted right round. Ouch. Lilly was rushed to the vets and now she's got an operation done and has a pin down her leg. Hopefully she'll be in good health soon.
Gotta go up to Nanny's to see her now. And yes, also to appease my guilt.
On a lighter note, pimple has ceased to look like an insect bite and has shrunk just that teeny wee bit to look like a proper pimple. Even better, I don't have a tiny dot of pus in the middle. And Ryan didn't notice it at all ^____^
I love my skin.
Sometimes I surprise myself with how self-loving I am. All that fuss over a pimple. But then again, it wasn't any old pimple. It was one which hurt!
Dropped Lilly (the Yorkshire puppy) by accident last night. I felt so bad! She jumped out of my arms while I was halfway lowering her down and from my hip to the ground, one of her little bones in her knee twisted right round. Ouch. Lilly was rushed to the vets and now she's got an operation done and has a pin down her leg. Hopefully she'll be in good health soon.
Gotta go up to Nanny's to see her now. And yes, also to appease my guilt.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Pimple Pain
News of the demon spawn, I finally had peace on the bus today. Their seats at the back were occupied by the big boys. Hooray for big boys! The demon spawn then went to the top layer of the double decker to spread their plague of noise to other innocent people. But since they have, in a sense given me the ultimate gift of silence, I shall graciously (yea right) retract their title of demon spawn. I'll call them first years instead. Which in my opinion, isn't much better. the bus ride was SO good today. Even had a little nap. Involuntarily of course. My eyelids just closed by themselves.
Yesterday out of no where came a pimple on my upper lip. Now, I always thought that pimples look like this:
Well, maybe not quite as pus-y. Disgusting isn't it? But still, a raised tiny red lump with perhaps a little white spot of pus in the middle. My pimple yesterday (and today) was just a big red lump. Much like an insect bite and it's really sore when I touch it or move my upper lip too much. Don't ask me why I move my upper lip. I just do. Great! On top of looking ugly, my pimple has to hurt too? Why?!
Me! Eat healthily as much as possible, wash my face twice a day, and try to keep my skin in as good a condition as possible. Oh yes, I put a lot of thought into what kind of facial wash I buy. But why, my baby smooth skin? Why? Why have you forsaken me and grown little lumps, some big and red and to top it off, hurts? Have I not pampered you enough? Are you jealous of other skin which get facials? Well, I can't help it if I can't be bothered with a facial. I'll look ridiculous!
Come on! Do you really want to look like this?
Like really, her face is blue!
On a happier note though, school was good. Though Ryan (as always) was late for school. It's not really his fault though, his bus is just very slooooow.
Damn. Now that my rant has fizzled out, I can't find a way to end this. Well, in situations of desperate needs, calls for desperate measures.
The End. ^____^
"What? you think gorgeous just happens?" - Hilda Suárez. From Ugly Betty when Betty's boss caught her sister in a facial mask and stared. Then her sister retorted with that exceedingly witty remark which had me laughing for days after. I'm so easily amused it's unbelievable.
Yesterday out of no where came a pimple on my upper lip. Now, I always thought that pimples look like this:
Well, maybe not quite as pus-y. Disgusting isn't it? But still, a raised tiny red lump with perhaps a little white spot of pus in the middle. My pimple yesterday (and today) was just a big red lump. Much like an insect bite and it's really sore when I touch it or move my upper lip too much. Don't ask me why I move my upper lip. I just do. Great! On top of looking ugly, my pimple has to hurt too? Why?!Me! Eat healthily as much as possible, wash my face twice a day, and try to keep my skin in as good a condition as possible. Oh yes, I put a lot of thought into what kind of facial wash I buy. But why, my baby smooth skin? Why? Why have you forsaken me and grown little lumps, some big and red and to top it off, hurts? Have I not pampered you enough? Are you jealous of other skin which get facials? Well, I can't help it if I can't be bothered with a facial. I'll look ridiculous!
Come on! Do you really want to look like this?
Like really, her face is blue!On a happier note though, school was good. Though Ryan (as always) was late for school. It's not really his fault though, his bus is just very slooooow.
Damn. Now that my rant has fizzled out, I can't find a way to end this. Well, in situations of desperate needs, calls for desperate measures.
The End. ^____^
"What? you think gorgeous just happens?" - Hilda Suárez. From Ugly Betty when Betty's boss caught her sister in a facial mask and stared. Then her sister retorted with that exceedingly witty remark which had me laughing for days after. I'm so easily amused it's unbelievable.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Demon Spawn
I have come to a conclusion that the first years this year are not really children, but demon spawn in the shape of 11 and 12 year old children's bodies. Since last Thursday, those first years have been tormenting me by sitting at the back of the bus and screaming, yelling, shouting, laughing raucously, and giggling really really loudly. On Thursday, me and Samantha were sitting right in front of them. And I swear! My ear drums popped each and every time I heard a yell or a scream.
Then me and Samantha took turns in telling them off in desperate hope that they would tine it down just that little so my poor eardrums would live to see another day. I've only got one pair you know? Well, so I told them off, but it was peppered with "please"s. I thought if I told them politely and nicely while treating them with respect they might listen to me. But nooooooo. After that, I heard them mimicking me. Cheeky wee devils! They are the devil's spawn for sure! I simply will not believe that I was like this when I was 11. This really makes me believe that I shall never be a teacher.
All those raging hormones are sure feared by parents. And rightly so too.
Friday and today was just as bad. Except this time I was sitting further away from them and so didn't get the full blast of it. They were staring lots though. But I ignored them. Today I went home with a headache and each scream, each yell, each bout of raucous laughter drives a white-hot needle of pain into my skull. Each and every time I hear a high pitched scream, and a shout, my shoulders get tenser and tenser. Well, my shoulder pains are back. In spite of my marvelous new bag which distributes the weight evenly and cured my shoulder pains for a few days. Thanks for bringing it back demon spawns. All the pain they bring me with the noise is not fun. And that was with music too. I could hear them over the music! What? Are you human at all?! The sheer amount of volume that exudes from their lungs is just not human. My head hurts so bad..
Plus, I'm certain that they have put a hex on me for shouting at them on Thursday. I've got a really painful insect bite on my upper lip. It's swollen and hurts when I touch it and aches when I don't. Curse you demon spawn!
Okok, I admit, it's not really fair to say that and I'm pretty sure they'll be nice people in their own right. But do they have to be so loud? It seriously affects me every single day when I take the bus home. The worse thing is, I can't take a different bus 'cos there simply isn't any other bus! I shall continue with my view upon them as demon spawn until I receive the ultimate gift of silence from them.
Till then, they shall be referred to as demon spawn.
"The most feared stage of life is probably pre-teens and the teenage years. Next comes the middle aged crisis. Ahh..isn't it a pleasure growing up with all that in front of you?" -ME!
Then me and Samantha took turns in telling them off in desperate hope that they would tine it down just that little so my poor eardrums would live to see another day. I've only got one pair you know? Well, so I told them off, but it was peppered with "please"s. I thought if I told them politely and nicely while treating them with respect they might listen to me. But nooooooo. After that, I heard them mimicking me. Cheeky wee devils! They are the devil's spawn for sure! I simply will not believe that I was like this when I was 11. This really makes me believe that I shall never be a teacher.
All those raging hormones are sure feared by parents. And rightly so too.Friday and today was just as bad. Except this time I was sitting further away from them and so didn't get the full blast of it. They were staring lots though. But I ignored them. Today I went home with a headache and each scream, each yell, each bout of raucous laughter drives a white-hot needle of pain into my skull. Each and every time I hear a high pitched scream, and a shout, my shoulders get tenser and tenser. Well, my shoulder pains are back. In spite of my marvelous new bag which distributes the weight evenly and cured my shoulder pains for a few days. Thanks for bringing it back demon spawns. All the pain they bring me with the noise is not fun. And that was with music too. I could hear them over the music! What? Are you human at all?! The sheer amount of volume that exudes from their lungs is just not human. My head hurts so bad..
Plus, I'm certain that they have put a hex on me for shouting at them on Thursday. I've got a really painful insect bite on my upper lip. It's swollen and hurts when I touch it and aches when I don't. Curse you demon spawn!
Okok, I admit, it's not really fair to say that and I'm pretty sure they'll be nice people in their own right. But do they have to be so loud? It seriously affects me every single day when I take the bus home. The worse thing is, I can't take a different bus 'cos there simply isn't any other bus! I shall continue with my view upon them as demon spawn until I receive the ultimate gift of silence from them.
Till then, they shall be referred to as demon spawn.
"The most feared stage of life is probably pre-teens and the teenage years. Next comes the middle aged crisis. Ahh..isn't it a pleasure growing up with all that in front of you?" -ME!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Work's Awful
Or, the lack of work. My first shift started on the 6th of September. At the end of the shift, I was told I'll be given a call to be notified of my shift next week. Week after week, it has been the same. I was given a time where they'll call, and the call never came. I have not worked a single shift since then. Uncle and Aunt reckons this is the time I start looking for a new job. Got an application form, and it'll probably be sitting on my table for a month gathering dust before I hand it in.
Been feeling as if I'm been left out of everything lately. Which sucks pretty badly. It's such a confidence crusher to feel like you're being left out of something deliberately. And then comes the conscience crusher to not have the guts to tell those people because you feel bad about getting annoyed at them. It's such a dilemma. Awwk well, that's life for you. Life can be a bit of a b****. But it really depends on how you see it. It's really been one thing after another this past week and it has taken a toll on me. I haven't been sleeping too well and look terrible. When I walked past the mirror yesterday, I actually walked backwards to check it was me. Dark rings under puffy eyes, greasy looking hair, pimples popping out, not a good thing at all. I have to de-stress.
I wonder if I can use this excuse too.
Ever since Benjamin is gone, there have been lots of painful reminders now and again. One of the most painful reminders would be every single time I drop anything on the floor. Normally Benjamin would coming dashing over to try to snap it up before me. Now, every time I drop something, there would be no clumsy stumbling of four paws on the ground trying to see what it is I've dropped. Or when I'm eating dinner, when I accidentally drop something, I can't draw Benjamin's attention to it and get him to eat it to save me cleaning it up. It hurts, but it'll get better.
The way I see it is, Benjamin has gained immortality and a permanent state in our hearts. He'll forever be gamboling around the house. And no matter how weird this is going to sound, I'm saying it anyway. It still feels like Benjamin is here. Only invisible, and silent. Sometimes out of the corner of my eye I could still see him, walking clumsily like Bambi learning to walk on ice. Of course he'll still be here. But maybe not for long. We're probably going to get another dog. Because his presence is sorely missed. Especially whenever anyone of us is alone in the house. I was alone in the house on the day after Benjamin's gone. And it didn't feel good at all. I miss him so much. We'll give it lots of time. And then adopt a dog from the dog pound. He doesn't have to be pedigree, he doesn't have to be obedient, or the best dog in the world, so long as he accepts us and loves us, we're happy.
Ahh..Love is a wonderful thing. At times it's probably the only thing which keeps us alive, and keeps us waking up every morning. It sure helps to know that someone, or some animal out there loves you. And I'm blessed to have a whole army of people caring for me, loving me.
"Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love." - Leo Buscaglia
Been feeling as if I'm been left out of everything lately. Which sucks pretty badly. It's such a confidence crusher to feel like you're being left out of something deliberately. And then comes the conscience crusher to not have the guts to tell those people because you feel bad about getting annoyed at them. It's such a dilemma. Awwk well, that's life for you. Life can be a bit of a b****. But it really depends on how you see it. It's really been one thing after another this past week and it has taken a toll on me. I haven't been sleeping too well and look terrible. When I walked past the mirror yesterday, I actually walked backwards to check it was me. Dark rings under puffy eyes, greasy looking hair, pimples popping out, not a good thing at all. I have to de-stress.
I wonder if I can use this excuse too.Ever since Benjamin is gone, there have been lots of painful reminders now and again. One of the most painful reminders would be every single time I drop anything on the floor. Normally Benjamin would coming dashing over to try to snap it up before me. Now, every time I drop something, there would be no clumsy stumbling of four paws on the ground trying to see what it is I've dropped. Or when I'm eating dinner, when I accidentally drop something, I can't draw Benjamin's attention to it and get him to eat it to save me cleaning it up. It hurts, but it'll get better.
The way I see it is, Benjamin has gained immortality and a permanent state in our hearts. He'll forever be gamboling around the house. And no matter how weird this is going to sound, I'm saying it anyway. It still feels like Benjamin is here. Only invisible, and silent. Sometimes out of the corner of my eye I could still see him, walking clumsily like Bambi learning to walk on ice. Of course he'll still be here. But maybe not for long. We're probably going to get another dog. Because his presence is sorely missed. Especially whenever anyone of us is alone in the house. I was alone in the house on the day after Benjamin's gone. And it didn't feel good at all. I miss him so much. We'll give it lots of time. And then adopt a dog from the dog pound. He doesn't have to be pedigree, he doesn't have to be obedient, or the best dog in the world, so long as he accepts us and loves us, we're happy.
Ahh..Love is a wonderful thing. At times it's probably the only thing which keeps us alive, and keeps us waking up every morning. It sure helps to know that someone, or some animal out there loves you. And I'm blessed to have a whole army of people caring for me, loving me.
"Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love." - Leo BuscagliaFriday, September 19, 2008
Benjamin...
This has really been a tough week for me and I'm sorry if I haven't been updating much about my life. Probably the toughest week since I've been here. Things have been just one after another and even while being relaxed, there is simply too much.
1st, there was me not being able to study here in the UK. Pretty hard to take, and it took a little bit of adjusting. But before the concept of me studying in Singapore was cast in stone, the wait was totally agonizing. I was left with the unattractive job of telling my very best friends (Sarah, Claire, Jude and Louise), who I am lucky to have. News was met with "Oh nooo! Stay here pleeease!" Which didn't make it any easier and I have spent many moments brooding and dreading the day when Northern Ireland would cease to be familiar to me. My very worse fear, though, is never seeing my friends here again. I am so lucky to have them, how I got them, I don't really know. But they're one of the best things to happen to me here. Them and Ryan are the reason I love going to school everyday.
Then there was not being able to celebrate Mid-Autumn Festival. That was the final straw which decided that I am willing to go back to Singapore for my universities studies. Still no sign of anyone telling me about the websites which help you choose the right universities, but I'm still waiting.
Today. Ahh..worse day of school so far this year. for some reason I was a little antsy. Just felt really left out and it did feel like a slap in the face. Homework is also starting to pile up a little. No stress there, considering I could always get it done in Private Study now that I am only doing three subjects. I've dropped Computing upon the persuading of the Head Teacher. This sounds so stupid but I just felt really bad for no reason at all in school. The small things drive me nuts. I got better at the end, but I came home to a rather strange atmosphere and found out that Benjamin has been put to sleep.
Oh Ben..I'm missing you already.
I used to mind walking him, feeding him, and bearing with him. But deep down, I guess I really did care for him. Looking back now, I'm so glad I gave him his walks and fed him, all of which made his life just that little bit happier.
Watching him deteriorate wasn't the easiest thing to do. It has already started from last year and in the past two weeks, he has been going downhill really quickly. There are times when he couldn't stand and yet want to walk and run and jump. So we gave him lots of little walks. Ones that he would be able to cope with. The little walks also helped with him going to the toilet outside. We would occasionally have an accident. But that's ok, put the kettle on, the mop out, and the job is done. Ben would whine when he couldn't stand. Doesn't matter, give him a wee lift. Whenever he's around, I would be giving him half of my chocolate bar even though I know it's bad for him because he likes them. We all gave him our leftovers and fed him as much as we can in the hope that his rapidly declining body would bulk up a little instead of steadily becoming more and more skeletal. He loves his food and in spite of all the food we gave him, he still got more and more skeletal.
As much as I sometimes dread walking him, especially in the rain, walking him has probably been one of the things which brought me and Auntie Carol and Jordan closer together. Poop scooping, I don't mind so much anymore. And whenever I tried to tell myself "No more walking, no more poop scooping, no more trying to feed Benjamin when he's jumping at you for his food", I just couldn't imagine that. Whenever I came, he was part of the family. Along with the cats. I just took it for granted that he would always be here. Whenever he started to decline more rapidly, I tried looking on the bright side. Looking for any milestone. Any at all, no matter how small, and revel and rejoice in it. "Ben's walking better today!" "Today he started off really strong and was even pulling me!" "He went out to the toilet on his own ^__^"
Being optimistic wouldn't stop his aging. But it sure did make it a whole lot easier. I remembered last Christmas, Ben got a whole packet of crisps for himself. Auntie Carol felt guilty for not getting him toys, but he loved the packet of crisps because all he got of people food are leftovers. It's nice for him to have some people food all to himself at one go for once.
It still feels weird not hearing him gamboling around the place and hearing his nails click on the ground, this Christmas would be really difficult and each day would be a struggle for a while. But We'll get on. I used to think people who have lots of dogs would have forgotten about the previous ones. Now I know I'm wrong. They always stay with you. Right there in your heart.
Having another dog doesn't mean you love them any less. And losing Benjamin like this and feeling so bad is not any reason to stop dreaming about having a dog as a pet. Because the puppies are already there, and it would be better to have someone who will love them rather than someone who will put them down at the slightest sign of trouble.
Benjamin is the first ever dog who lived with me, and I will always remember him. He taught me how to be patient, how to share a single bar of chocolate, and which places are the best to scratch. My river of tears for him will probably never dry up. There will probably be times when I would go home expecting to hear him gamboling around the house, with his too-long nails clicking on the floor, all set for a walk or a snack. But one thing's for sure, he will always be right here, in my heart.
It has been difficult losing you, and you were never the easiest dog to get along with. But no matter where you are, I still miss you and I sure hope you're enjoying yourself running in heavenly fields without a lead. You are free of your mortal body. Make use of it and run free.
"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up." - James A. Baldwin. He's right you know, and that is why I think it's always braver to love everyone around you instead of trying to stay aloof so that you wouldn't get hurt.
1st, there was me not being able to study here in the UK. Pretty hard to take, and it took a little bit of adjusting. But before the concept of me studying in Singapore was cast in stone, the wait was totally agonizing. I was left with the unattractive job of telling my very best friends (Sarah, Claire, Jude and Louise), who I am lucky to have. News was met with "Oh nooo! Stay here pleeease!" Which didn't make it any easier and I have spent many moments brooding and dreading the day when Northern Ireland would cease to be familiar to me. My very worse fear, though, is never seeing my friends here again. I am so lucky to have them, how I got them, I don't really know. But they're one of the best things to happen to me here. Them and Ryan are the reason I love going to school everyday.
Then there was not being able to celebrate Mid-Autumn Festival. That was the final straw which decided that I am willing to go back to Singapore for my universities studies. Still no sign of anyone telling me about the websites which help you choose the right universities, but I'm still waiting.
Today. Ahh..worse day of school so far this year. for some reason I was a little antsy. Just felt really left out and it did feel like a slap in the face. Homework is also starting to pile up a little. No stress there, considering I could always get it done in Private Study now that I am only doing three subjects. I've dropped Computing upon the persuading of the Head Teacher. This sounds so stupid but I just felt really bad for no reason at all in school. The small things drive me nuts. I got better at the end, but I came home to a rather strange atmosphere and found out that Benjamin has been put to sleep.
Oh Ben..I'm missing you already.I used to mind walking him, feeding him, and bearing with him. But deep down, I guess I really did care for him. Looking back now, I'm so glad I gave him his walks and fed him, all of which made his life just that little bit happier.
Watching him deteriorate wasn't the easiest thing to do. It has already started from last year and in the past two weeks, he has been going downhill really quickly. There are times when he couldn't stand and yet want to walk and run and jump. So we gave him lots of little walks. Ones that he would be able to cope with. The little walks also helped with him going to the toilet outside. We would occasionally have an accident. But that's ok, put the kettle on, the mop out, and the job is done. Ben would whine when he couldn't stand. Doesn't matter, give him a wee lift. Whenever he's around, I would be giving him half of my chocolate bar even though I know it's bad for him because he likes them. We all gave him our leftovers and fed him as much as we can in the hope that his rapidly declining body would bulk up a little instead of steadily becoming more and more skeletal. He loves his food and in spite of all the food we gave him, he still got more and more skeletal.
As much as I sometimes dread walking him, especially in the rain, walking him has probably been one of the things which brought me and Auntie Carol and Jordan closer together. Poop scooping, I don't mind so much anymore. And whenever I tried to tell myself "No more walking, no more poop scooping, no more trying to feed Benjamin when he's jumping at you for his food", I just couldn't imagine that. Whenever I came, he was part of the family. Along with the cats. I just took it for granted that he would always be here. Whenever he started to decline more rapidly, I tried looking on the bright side. Looking for any milestone. Any at all, no matter how small, and revel and rejoice in it. "Ben's walking better today!" "Today he started off really strong and was even pulling me!" "He went out to the toilet on his own ^__^"
Being optimistic wouldn't stop his aging. But it sure did make it a whole lot easier. I remembered last Christmas, Ben got a whole packet of crisps for himself. Auntie Carol felt guilty for not getting him toys, but he loved the packet of crisps because all he got of people food are leftovers. It's nice for him to have some people food all to himself at one go for once.
It still feels weird not hearing him gamboling around the place and hearing his nails click on the ground, this Christmas would be really difficult and each day would be a struggle for a while. But We'll get on. I used to think people who have lots of dogs would have forgotten about the previous ones. Now I know I'm wrong. They always stay with you. Right there in your heart.
Having another dog doesn't mean you love them any less. And losing Benjamin like this and feeling so bad is not any reason to stop dreaming about having a dog as a pet. Because the puppies are already there, and it would be better to have someone who will love them rather than someone who will put them down at the slightest sign of trouble.Benjamin is the first ever dog who lived with me, and I will always remember him. He taught me how to be patient, how to share a single bar of chocolate, and which places are the best to scratch. My river of tears for him will probably never dry up. There will probably be times when I would go home expecting to hear him gamboling around the house, with his too-long nails clicking on the floor, all set for a walk or a snack. But one thing's for sure, he will always be right here, in my heart.
It has been difficult losing you, and you were never the easiest dog to get along with. But no matter where you are, I still miss you and I sure hope you're enjoying yourself running in heavenly fields without a lead. You are free of your mortal body. Make use of it and run free.
"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up." - James A. Baldwin. He's right you know, and that is why I think it's always braver to love everyone around you instead of trying to stay aloof so that you wouldn't get hurt.Monday, September 15, 2008
中秋节 (Mid-Autumn Festival)
Today is 中秋节. It has crept up on me without me knowing and just jumped into my face when I least expect it. Not having a Lunar Calendar as well as TV to tell you when is 中秋节 or Chinese New Year is crap. T-T
Last year 中秋节 crept up on me too. I came home from school to find a single mooncake being cut up and shared in the house. It felt like a slap in the face and I had to stop tears from falling out of my eyes. Tears which were already welling up under my eyelids.
This year I was fore-warned a week before and I was pretty prepared for it at the start of the week. But with the among the usual chaos with housework and schoolwork and piano, the thought of Mid-Autumn Festival somehow flew out of my head and into the stars above. Never to be found again. This time it felt less like a slap in the face. More like the wind knocked out of my stomach, knowing that I have, yet again, forgotten about this traditional Chinese festival which I enjoy the most, next to Chinese New Year.
In my family, it would be tradition for my house to be stocked up full of mooncakes and pomelo. Then on the day itself, we would be sitting outside at night, drinking tea and eating mooncake, watching the moon and me and my sisters (and any other relative present) would be playing with candles and lanterns. To know that I have missed it without knowing, makes me feel really cut off from my family.
At least it'll be different next year. Should I say it? All of you will eventually know anyway. Right. I will be going to Singapore for university next year. I don't really know when, but it should be between July and August next year. So pupils from Singapore feel free to dump me with websites that teachers have given you to guide you into university. I have been on those university websites and it feels utterly confusing. I simply will not believe that you only need to get a C in GCSE Maths to get into a Psychology course in NUS. It doesn't make any sense. So pupils of Singapore, please give me some websites to make some sense of what they are saying.
By the way, this is a mooncake:
And this is a pomelo:
Nuff said.
"Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe." - Josh Billings
Last year 中秋节 crept up on me too. I came home from school to find a single mooncake being cut up and shared in the house. It felt like a slap in the face and I had to stop tears from falling out of my eyes. Tears which were already welling up under my eyelids.
This year I was fore-warned a week before and I was pretty prepared for it at the start of the week. But with the among the usual chaos with housework and schoolwork and piano, the thought of Mid-Autumn Festival somehow flew out of my head and into the stars above. Never to be found again. This time it felt less like a slap in the face. More like the wind knocked out of my stomach, knowing that I have, yet again, forgotten about this traditional Chinese festival which I enjoy the most, next to Chinese New Year.
In my family, it would be tradition for my house to be stocked up full of mooncakes and pomelo. Then on the day itself, we would be sitting outside at night, drinking tea and eating mooncake, watching the moon and me and my sisters (and any other relative present) would be playing with candles and lanterns. To know that I have missed it without knowing, makes me feel really cut off from my family.
At least it'll be different next year. Should I say it? All of you will eventually know anyway. Right. I will be going to Singapore for university next year. I don't really know when, but it should be between July and August next year. So pupils from Singapore feel free to dump me with websites that teachers have given you to guide you into university. I have been on those university websites and it feels utterly confusing. I simply will not believe that you only need to get a C in GCSE Maths to get into a Psychology course in NUS. It doesn't make any sense. So pupils of Singapore, please give me some websites to make some sense of what they are saying.
By the way, this is a mooncake:
And this is a pomelo:
Nuff said.
"Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe." - Josh BillingsSunday, September 14, 2008
Meme and Quiz
Ahhh, the joys of blogging. Nothings better than sitting in front of the computer after a hard day of working and housework typing out the thoughts of your day into some semblance of order onto the computer screen. ^___^ I love blogging. Referring to my post below, about fighting, I heard from Jordan that the younger guy is a bully and would shout abuse at him and his friends just because they skateboard. Over here Jordan would be classed as a hippy. Not the 70s one which smoke pot, just ones who skate. Hippys are cool. The 70s is cool.
Back to the point, I also heard that he's a nasty person and more accurately, from other people's mouths, he's an *******. Also heard that the older guy will be beating him up everyday until he pays the money or something. Sounds like a case of borrowing money from the wrong person. Anyway, the fight wasn't at the bus station the next morning. Much to my relief. For all I know they may be fighting somewhere else or at different times of the day. Not going to probe any further cos I don't really wanna know. Keeping myself outta this. Yilin tagged me to do a quiz, and weeks ago, JinJun got me to do a meme. Only sent me the meme today though, 'cos he's decided to "be nice". JinJun's meme will be in blue cos he's a boy (also cos it's his favorite color) and Yilin's quiz will be in red cos she's a girl! Easy!
JinJun's: 1. Someone who seems to have a lot of close friends.
Ryan
2. Someone you've known for a long time.
Pei Ching. I've known her for nine years and even though we don't talk much we're still quite close. Which I absolutely love 'cos she's so easy to talk to and she's the best to keep your confidence up.
3. Someone you'd like to trade places with.
Nobody! I love my own life!
4. Someone who seems likely to be a member of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
Sarah Patterson. She loves animals and wouldn't dissect a mouse for Biology because she thinks it's morally wrong to breed animals just to kill them for study instead of for survival.
5. Someone who seems like a chatterbox.
Erin. She talks to anybody and everybody.
6. Someone who seems to have a lot of wild ideas / fantasies.
Baby (Li Hao my little sister)
7. Someone who seems like they were popular at school.
Victoria Smyth
8. Someone you think you would have been close to if you went to school together.
Chen Jie. He's practically a listening ear and helped me through my teenage angst. I'm afraid we've drifted apart though.
9. Someone you want to stay up all night talking to.
Ryan! But I can't do that 'cos most of the time I fall asleep and start drifting in and out of consciousness throughout the conversation. Once I said "I have to go to the top deck of the ship to help the man at the front line to defend against the infancy!" To much reading about war. Plus, I mixed infantry up with infancy -_-
10. Someone who can look after children.
My mommy.
11. Someone who seems to fall in love a lot.
Hmm..Hui Zhi? She's too trusting le. Guys are horrible to her.
12. A beauty.
Hui Zhi!
13. Someone who seems like a celebrity.
Sarah Patterson. She's really tall and is like a model. Also has a really strong presence.
14. Somone who is girly / manly
Sarah Patterson is definitely very girly. As well as countless others over here.
15. Someone you want to dress up as the opposite gender.
Me! I want to see what I look like as a guy. Even though I already dress like one. (shirt and trousers all the time -.-)
16. Someone grown-up.
Ryan. He can be much much more mature than me. We're mature in different areas. So we balance out. Ryan's definitely more level-headed than me though. :)
17. Someone childlike.
Ryan sometimes.
18. Someone who is like a princess / prince.
Can't imagine anyone I know now as royalty.
19. Someone who seems capable.
Ming Ching seems very capable of whatever life throws his way.
20. Someone who has a unique view on life.
Ming Ching. He thinks we're here to suffer. I think we're here to learn.
21. Someone S-type.
Sometimes me. I can be very sadistic.
22. Someone M-type.
Lauren Walker. She's very nice though.
23. Someone you think of as your boss.
Auntie Carol and my mom. :P
24. Someone who would kill you if you got on their bad side.
No one.
25. Someone who seems good at seduction.
Don't know anyone who can seduce.
26. Someone you think you could seduce.
Ryan! Lol. Not really. He only does things for me because he wants to.
27. Someone who loves with all their heart.
Ryan
28. Someone you want to see in cosplay.
Ryan's going to do cosplay to be Anakin Skywalker for Halloween. Teehee. It should be fun. I'm not participating though.
29. Someone you seriously want to go on a date with.
Ryan. (any surprise there?)
30. A message to all the above people: Noticed people have been having trouble with 21 and 22 - S-type is 'sadist', M-type is 'masochist'.
Yilin's: question N1 : The person who tagged you is?
Yilin.
question N2 : Your relationship with him/her?
My cousin.
question N3 : Your 5 impressions of him/her?
She worries too much about the little things in life. She's gotta lighten up and let things take their course.
question N4 : The most memorable thing he/she has done for you?
Telling me that her zodiac is also a horse. I think I'm about five to six months older than her. >.<
question N5 : The most memorable thing he/she said to you?
"I think this boy fancies me..." *blushes* Don't know if she remembers?
question N6 : If he/she becomes ur lover you would ?
Not happening. Because we're straight, and it'll be incest. Which is really weird. Makes me sick thinking about it. Right. Stop. Who put that question there anyway?!
questions N7 : If he/ she becomes ur lover , she needs to improve on?
I hate the person who put this up..it's sick!
question N8 : If he /she becomes ur enemy you will ..
Still have a chance to make it up to her 'cos she's tied to me forever! Muahaha! Her blood runs in my veins and vice versa.
question N9 : If he / she becomes ur enemy the reason would be?
Nothing. Unless I accidentally break her violin. Noooo!
question N10 : The most desired thing u want for him/her will be?
To be happy and finally enjoy life. Strike a balance and you'll be happy.
question N11 : Your overall impression of him/her will be?
Too serious! Lighten up a little!
question N12 : How do u think other people will feel about you?
Well, they think I'm beautiful, kind and so nice that even the butterflies will be attracted to me. Haha. No. Really, they probably think I am funny, and I sure hope that I can help them with their lives however much I can.
question N13 : The characteristics you love about urself is ?
I like being helpful helping in whatever way I can.
question N14 : The characteristics you hate about urself is ?
Hmm..sometimes I am not satisfied with the way I look and it can really pester me for a quite a long time. So I hate not being happy with myself.
question N15 : The most ideal person you want to be?
Contented and balanced.
question N16 : For people that care and love you ; what do you wanna say ?
Thanks for always being there for me and picking me up whenever I'm down and cleaning me up to make me presentable again no matter how big a mess I'm in. Every single one of you made me who I am today. And every help you gave me, no matter how small have contributed to making me who I am. I'm so proud of myself and I would like to give all of you the credit too. ^____^
questions N17 : Pass this quiz onto 10 people that u wish to know how they feel about you?
1. Ryan!
2. Parky
3. Jin Jun
4. Seow Peng
5. Hui Zhi
6. Jodeline
7. Zhi Yu
8. Zoe
9. Thilaiga
10. Ming Ching
Half the people I mentioned up there probably wouldn't do it but that's the fact of life. I don't mind. So here ends my rather lengthy post. And if you got here, congratulations. Especially if you don't recognize those who I mentioned in the meme. I understand it can get pretty draggy whenever you don't really know who you're reading about. Have fun with the rest of your weekend people! (corny sounding but I don't know how else to end!)
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage. " - Lao Tzu (he was a philosopher of ancient China and is also a central figure in Taoism. Possibly known more widely as Father Of Taoism)
Back to the point, I also heard that he's a nasty person and more accurately, from other people's mouths, he's an *******. Also heard that the older guy will be beating him up everyday until he pays the money or something. Sounds like a case of borrowing money from the wrong person. Anyway, the fight wasn't at the bus station the next morning. Much to my relief. For all I know they may be fighting somewhere else or at different times of the day. Not going to probe any further cos I don't really wanna know. Keeping myself outta this. Yilin tagged me to do a quiz, and weeks ago, JinJun got me to do a meme. Only sent me the meme today though, 'cos he's decided to "be nice". JinJun's meme will be in blue cos he's a boy (also cos it's his favorite color) and Yilin's quiz will be in red cos she's a girl! Easy!
JinJun's: 1. Someone who seems to have a lot of close friends.
Ryan
2. Someone you've known for a long time.
Pei Ching. I've known her for nine years and even though we don't talk much we're still quite close. Which I absolutely love 'cos she's so easy to talk to and she's the best to keep your confidence up.
3. Someone you'd like to trade places with.
Nobody! I love my own life!
4. Someone who seems likely to be a member of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
Sarah Patterson. She loves animals and wouldn't dissect a mouse for Biology because she thinks it's morally wrong to breed animals just to kill them for study instead of for survival.
5. Someone who seems like a chatterbox.
Erin. She talks to anybody and everybody.
6. Someone who seems to have a lot of wild ideas / fantasies.
Baby (Li Hao my little sister)
7. Someone who seems like they were popular at school.
Victoria Smyth
8. Someone you think you would have been close to if you went to school together.
Chen Jie. He's practically a listening ear and helped me through my teenage angst. I'm afraid we've drifted apart though.
9. Someone you want to stay up all night talking to.
Ryan! But I can't do that 'cos most of the time I fall asleep and start drifting in and out of consciousness throughout the conversation. Once I said "I have to go to the top deck of the ship to help the man at the front line to defend against the infancy!" To much reading about war. Plus, I mixed infantry up with infancy -_-
10. Someone who can look after children.
My mommy.
11. Someone who seems to fall in love a lot.
Hmm..Hui Zhi? She's too trusting le. Guys are horrible to her.
12. A beauty.
Hui Zhi!
13. Someone who seems like a celebrity.
Sarah Patterson. She's really tall and is like a model. Also has a really strong presence.
14. Somone who is girly / manly
Sarah Patterson is definitely very girly. As well as countless others over here.
15. Someone you want to dress up as the opposite gender.
Me! I want to see what I look like as a guy. Even though I already dress like one. (shirt and trousers all the time -.-)
16. Someone grown-up.
Ryan. He can be much much more mature than me. We're mature in different areas. So we balance out. Ryan's definitely more level-headed than me though. :)
17. Someone childlike.
Ryan sometimes.
18. Someone who is like a princess / prince.
Can't imagine anyone I know now as royalty.
19. Someone who seems capable.
Ming Ching seems very capable of whatever life throws his way.
20. Someone who has a unique view on life.
Ming Ching. He thinks we're here to suffer. I think we're here to learn.
21. Someone S-type.
Sometimes me. I can be very sadistic.
22. Someone M-type.
Lauren Walker. She's very nice though.
23. Someone you think of as your boss.
Auntie Carol and my mom. :P
24. Someone who would kill you if you got on their bad side.
No one.
25. Someone who seems good at seduction.
Don't know anyone who can seduce.
26. Someone you think you could seduce.
Ryan! Lol. Not really. He only does things for me because he wants to.
27. Someone who loves with all their heart.
Ryan
28. Someone you want to see in cosplay.
Ryan's going to do cosplay to be Anakin Skywalker for Halloween. Teehee. It should be fun. I'm not participating though.
29. Someone you seriously want to go on a date with.
Ryan. (any surprise there?)
30. A message to all the above people: Noticed people have been having trouble with 21 and 22 - S-type is 'sadist', M-type is 'masochist'.
Yilin's: question N1 : The person who tagged you is?
Yilin.
question N2 : Your relationship with him/her?
My cousin.
question N3 : Your 5 impressions of him/her?
She worries too much about the little things in life. She's gotta lighten up and let things take their course.
question N4 : The most memorable thing he/she has done for you?
Telling me that her zodiac is also a horse. I think I'm about five to six months older than her. >.<
question N5 : The most memorable thing he/she said to you?
"I think this boy fancies me..." *blushes* Don't know if she remembers?
question N6 : If he/she becomes ur lover you would ?
Not happening. Because we're straight, and it'll be incest. Which is really weird. Makes me sick thinking about it. Right. Stop. Who put that question there anyway?!
questions N7 : If he/ she becomes ur lover , she needs to improve on?
I hate the person who put this up..it's sick!
question N8 : If he /she becomes ur enemy you will ..
Still have a chance to make it up to her 'cos she's tied to me forever! Muahaha! Her blood runs in my veins and vice versa.
question N9 : If he / she becomes ur enemy the reason would be?
Nothing. Unless I accidentally break her violin. Noooo!
question N10 : The most desired thing u want for him/her will be?
To be happy and finally enjoy life. Strike a balance and you'll be happy.
question N11 : Your overall impression of him/her will be?
Too serious! Lighten up a little!
question N12 : How do u think other people will feel about you?
Well, they think I'm beautiful, kind and so nice that even the butterflies will be attracted to me. Haha. No. Really, they probably think I am funny, and I sure hope that I can help them with their lives however much I can.
question N13 : The characteristics you love about urself is ?
I like being helpful helping in whatever way I can.
question N14 : The characteristics you hate about urself is ?
Hmm..sometimes I am not satisfied with the way I look and it can really pester me for a quite a long time. So I hate not being happy with myself.
question N15 : The most ideal person you want to be?
Contented and balanced.
question N16 : For people that care and love you ; what do you wanna say ?
Thanks for always being there for me and picking me up whenever I'm down and cleaning me up to make me presentable again no matter how big a mess I'm in. Every single one of you made me who I am today. And every help you gave me, no matter how small have contributed to making me who I am. I'm so proud of myself and I would like to give all of you the credit too. ^____^
questions N17 : Pass this quiz onto 10 people that u wish to know how they feel about you?
1. Ryan!
2. Parky
3. Jin Jun
4. Seow Peng
5. Hui Zhi
6. Jodeline
7. Zhi Yu
8. Zoe
9. Thilaiga
10. Ming Ching
Half the people I mentioned up there probably wouldn't do it but that's the fact of life. I don't mind. So here ends my rather lengthy post. And if you got here, congratulations. Especially if you don't recognize those who I mentioned in the meme. I understand it can get pretty draggy whenever you don't really know who you're reading about. Have fun with the rest of your weekend people! (corny sounding but I don't know how else to end!)
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage. " - Lao Tzu (he was a philosopher of ancient China and is also a central figure in Taoism. Possibly known more widely as Father Of Taoism)Friday, September 12, 2008
The Value Of (NOT) Fighting
Today something really exciting happened. To be honest, it was a little too early in the morning before I actually understood the gravity of what I was witnessing.
Guessed what it is yet?
Hint: Look at the title.
Right. When I got off the bus at the bus station to walk to school, I near walked into a street fight.
Yes, you read that right. I walked into a real life street fight. Well, not really walked into them. I just walked, saw the commotion, and realized what it was, turned and tried to creep away. It was so scary, I hardly dared to breathe because I was so worried they'd turn on me and start hitting me or something. So I just sort of, crept around them and gave them as wide a berth as I can. As much as I would like to stay and watch, I don't want to invite trouble.
There were two guys, one couldn't be more than 17, and the other could be near 20, maybe older. And the older one was full on punching the younger one's head. Which looked really painful. To make things worse, there was another guy who was filming this whole thing on his mobile phone. Oh the indignity! To make things even worse for that younger guy, his butt-crack was showing.
Butt-crack flashing + Being beaten to pulp + Someone taking a video as well as countless others watching = Utter Humiliation!
I feel for the younger guy.
Why did they fight anyway? I mean, when I think about it, see when people insult you. And you feel like confronting them but walk away instead with them hurling abuse and perhaps even more solid things such as chips or something at your back. Yes, it'll be humiliating. And yes, it'll hurt so much inside that it might be the sore spot for the rest of your life. It might even scar you for life!
But, but but! If you confront them. And then they pick a fight with you. A fight you know you may well lose. But you don't want to look like a coward! So you go for it. Go ahead and you may well end up like that younger guy there. If you confront them and decide to be the 'big man' for goodness sake, at least make sure you'll win it. Or better still, don't fight at all. It's so much more dignified. Plus, you don't go home looking like some crazy painter has gone over you with his paintbrush. What with all those colorful bruises.
Pity the guy's mom. If she were to see her little boy now. Her heart will shatter into pieces. Poor poor people.
Why can't we just live together?
"Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. We know more about war that we know about peace, more about killing that we know about living." -Omar N. Bradley (one of the main U.S. army field commanders in North Africa and Europe during World War II and a General of the Army in the United States Army)
Guessed what it is yet?
Hint: Look at the title.
Right. When I got off the bus at the bus station to walk to school, I near walked into a street fight.
Yes, you read that right. I walked into a real life street fight. Well, not really walked into them. I just walked, saw the commotion, and realized what it was, turned and tried to creep away. It was so scary, I hardly dared to breathe because I was so worried they'd turn on me and start hitting me or something. So I just sort of, crept around them and gave them as wide a berth as I can. As much as I would like to stay and watch, I don't want to invite trouble.
There were two guys, one couldn't be more than 17, and the other could be near 20, maybe older. And the older one was full on punching the younger one's head. Which looked really painful. To make things worse, there was another guy who was filming this whole thing on his mobile phone. Oh the indignity! To make things even worse for that younger guy, his butt-crack was showing.
Butt-crack flashing + Being beaten to pulp + Someone taking a video as well as countless others watching = Utter Humiliation!
I feel for the younger guy.
Why did they fight anyway? I mean, when I think about it, see when people insult you. And you feel like confronting them but walk away instead with them hurling abuse and perhaps even more solid things such as chips or something at your back. Yes, it'll be humiliating. And yes, it'll hurt so much inside that it might be the sore spot for the rest of your life. It might even scar you for life!
But, but but! If you confront them. And then they pick a fight with you. A fight you know you may well lose. But you don't want to look like a coward! So you go for it. Go ahead and you may well end up like that younger guy there. If you confront them and decide to be the 'big man' for goodness sake, at least make sure you'll win it. Or better still, don't fight at all. It's so much more dignified. Plus, you don't go home looking like some crazy painter has gone over you with his paintbrush. What with all those colorful bruises.
Pity the guy's mom. If she were to see her little boy now. Her heart will shatter into pieces. Poor poor people.
Why can't we just live together?
"Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. We know more about war that we know about peace, more about killing that we know about living." -Omar N. Bradley (one of the main U.S. army field commanders in North Africa and Europe during World War II and a General of the Army in the United States Army)Thursday, September 11, 2008
Here, Do You Want This Instead?
Those words above, uttered by Ryan during lunchtime on Monday has totally changed my life and my music-listening experience the past two days. He downloaded a whole album of Mika into my mp4. For those who don't know who Mika is, here he is:
Didn't really think or expect much from the album whenever I started to listen to it. But I decided to give all of the songs a chance and listen through anyway. And it was amazing! Out of all of the songs in my album, there is only one I don't particularly like. But the rest, the rest of the songs had me nearly bobbing my head and singing along to in the bus. Most of the time, what happens between an album and me is that I'll just like one song, and none of the others. Right now so far I must have listened to that whole album for about a grand total of six times in the past two days. I'm absolutely saturated with Mika, I sing it, I hear it in my head, and I can't wait to listen to it.
One of the reasons why I love his songs so much is because the songs are so catchy and fun, also, it's not everyday you get a male who has such a wide voice range and sound good while doing it. Some people have accused him of being gay, but frankly, I don't really care if he's gay or not. His songs are still fun and cute. For a man to compose fun songs like that, it's pretty refreshing. It's also really good for a mood lift whenever you need it.
My absolute favorite song from the whole album at the moment is Big Girls (you are beautiful) go check it out here. It's not often you get singers who help big girls feel better about themselves. Especially when magazines are brainwashing little girls to look like a stick. Models are getting skinnier and skinnier each year. Which gets pretty depressing for an ever-increasing girl like me, but I just choose to ignore the magazines and remind myself that I at least have people who love me for who I am. And, that I know how to appreciate my food.
Queen Latifah is a plus-sized big girl and yet, because she is so confident with herself, she looks so amazing all the time. Look! She ain't no stick but she's still fantastic looking.
Went to Rock City Diner with Ryan yesterday and the girl who brought us our food was really skinny. Yes, I admit I was kinda jealous at first, but then after looking at her a few more times, I realized that her cheeks were sunken and she looked really frail. This may sound harsh, but she doesn't look too different to a drug addict. I'm not dissing her, she was really nice, but she's just really really skinny. Once me and Ryan were talking about skinny people and I said "I don't like friends who are too skinny, I'm afraid I might break them." To which Ryan laughed for a really long time leaving me pretty bewildered. But yea, I can see where he is coming from. It is pretty funny. >.<
So ends my rant about skinny girls and my accolade for Mika. His songs enrich my day just that little bit more. It's the little things that make a difference. Now, I'm hungry. Where's my dinner?
"It's okay to be a fat man. It's prestige and power and all of that. But fat women are seen as just lazy and stupid and having no self-control." -Camryn Manheim (an American Emmy Award and Golden Globe-winning actress known for her roles primarily for her roles as attorney Ellenor Frutt on ABC's The Practice and Delia Banks on CBS's Ghost Whisperer) What she said is very true.
Didn't really think or expect much from the album whenever I started to listen to it. But I decided to give all of the songs a chance and listen through anyway. And it was amazing! Out of all of the songs in my album, there is only one I don't particularly like. But the rest, the rest of the songs had me nearly bobbing my head and singing along to in the bus. Most of the time, what happens between an album and me is that I'll just like one song, and none of the others. Right now so far I must have listened to that whole album for about a grand total of six times in the past two days. I'm absolutely saturated with Mika, I sing it, I hear it in my head, and I can't wait to listen to it.One of the reasons why I love his songs so much is because the songs are so catchy and fun, also, it's not everyday you get a male who has such a wide voice range and sound good while doing it. Some people have accused him of being gay, but frankly, I don't really care if he's gay or not. His songs are still fun and cute. For a man to compose fun songs like that, it's pretty refreshing. It's also really good for a mood lift whenever you need it.
My absolute favorite song from the whole album at the moment is Big Girls (you are beautiful) go check it out here. It's not often you get singers who help big girls feel better about themselves. Especially when magazines are brainwashing little girls to look like a stick. Models are getting skinnier and skinnier each year. Which gets pretty depressing for an ever-increasing girl like me, but I just choose to ignore the magazines and remind myself that I at least have people who love me for who I am. And, that I know how to appreciate my food.
Queen Latifah is a plus-sized big girl and yet, because she is so confident with herself, she looks so amazing all the time. Look! She ain't no stick but she's still fantastic looking.
Went to Rock City Diner with Ryan yesterday and the girl who brought us our food was really skinny. Yes, I admit I was kinda jealous at first, but then after looking at her a few more times, I realized that her cheeks were sunken and she looked really frail. This may sound harsh, but she doesn't look too different to a drug addict. I'm not dissing her, she was really nice, but she's just really really skinny. Once me and Ryan were talking about skinny people and I said "I don't like friends who are too skinny, I'm afraid I might break them." To which Ryan laughed for a really long time leaving me pretty bewildered. But yea, I can see where he is coming from. It is pretty funny. >.<So ends my rant about skinny girls and my accolade for Mika. His songs enrich my day just that little bit more. It's the little things that make a difference. Now, I'm hungry. Where's my dinner?
"It's okay to be a fat man. It's prestige and power and all of that. But fat women are seen as just lazy and stupid and having no self-control." -Camryn Manheim (an American Emmy Award and Golden Globe-winning actress known for her roles primarily for her roles as attorney Ellenor Frutt on ABC's The Practice and Delia Banks on CBS's Ghost Whisperer) What she said is very true.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
The Man With White-And-Grey Hair
And so, the man with white-and-grey hair walked into Cafe Krem. He asked us our names, asked where we came from and said: "Well, hi! I'm your boss! ^__^"
That is how I knew my boss from Cafe Krem yesterday. I was working a shift with a girl who is also new, except she had already been there for nearly a week whereas I only started on that day. 1st day of work is pretty good. I dropped a plate and made a sandwich for my boss. He taught me how to fold the baguettes in the paper and how to set it out. Also how many pieces of sun-dried tomatoes you give customers (about 3). I'm so glad my boss is all smile-y and helpful. I alway have nightmres that my boss would be like this:
Had a thumping headache which I later found out to be migraine. Migraine pretty much dominated my whole day yesterday all the way to this morning and started to ebb away at about 12 today. What a relief. Anyway, work was pretty good. I mostly washed the dishes, cleared up the tables and cleaned the tables. My job scope required me to serve and bring food to customers as well, but because I only know how to make the breakfast, serve regular tea and coffee, and ladle out the Soup Of The Day, I didn't have the confidence to serve anyone. Just in case they ask for something I don't know how to do.
Like hot chocolate.
Oh you should have seen the hot chocolate. It is the best I've ever drank in my life. Nice thick foamy milk with liquid chocolate lying at the bottom where you could stir it up, with multi-colored marshmallows lying on top. Serving at a temperature that is just right so that it still warms you up from the inside, but doesn't burn half the cells away from your tongue. Mmm...
My colleagues there so far are pretty nice. There is a middle-aged guy, names Tarek and he is pretty much a full timer. He's so nice, and made me my hot chocolate for my break ^__^ I was starving though, and didn't have my 'lunch' till about 2.30pm because I didn't know I had to ask for my break. -__-'' Had a ham and cheese toastie with tomato and hot chocolate for my lunch.
Whenever Tarek saw my ham and cheese toastie (made by the other new girl Alanna) he was like "Is that all you're having?" I decided to risk it and said "Can I have a hot chocolate please? >.<" And he did make it for me! :D:D So basically, I kinda know everything, but I can't work the till. I don't really know how to. Hope I get a shift soon and know everything there is to do. It'll be so much easier then. Work pay is £4.85 per hour, which also makes the work easier ^__^ So yes, I'm a working gal now, hear me roar!
"Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing." -Thomas A. Edison (an American inventor and businessman who developed many devices that greatly influence life around the world. His inventions include the phonograph and the long-lasting and ever practical light bulb.)
That is how I knew my boss from Cafe Krem yesterday. I was working a shift with a girl who is also new, except she had already been there for nearly a week whereas I only started on that day. 1st day of work is pretty good. I dropped a plate and made a sandwich for my boss. He taught me how to fold the baguettes in the paper and how to set it out. Also how many pieces of sun-dried tomatoes you give customers (about 3). I'm so glad my boss is all smile-y and helpful. I alway have nightmres that my boss would be like this:
Had a thumping headache which I later found out to be migraine. Migraine pretty much dominated my whole day yesterday all the way to this morning and started to ebb away at about 12 today. What a relief. Anyway, work was pretty good. I mostly washed the dishes, cleared up the tables and cleaned the tables. My job scope required me to serve and bring food to customers as well, but because I only know how to make the breakfast, serve regular tea and coffee, and ladle out the Soup Of The Day, I didn't have the confidence to serve anyone. Just in case they ask for something I don't know how to do.Like hot chocolate.
Oh you should have seen the hot chocolate. It is the best I've ever drank in my life. Nice thick foamy milk with liquid chocolate lying at the bottom where you could stir it up, with multi-colored marshmallows lying on top. Serving at a temperature that is just right so that it still warms you up from the inside, but doesn't burn half the cells away from your tongue. Mmm...My colleagues there so far are pretty nice. There is a middle-aged guy, names Tarek and he is pretty much a full timer. He's so nice, and made me my hot chocolate for my break ^__^ I was starving though, and didn't have my 'lunch' till about 2.30pm because I didn't know I had to ask for my break. -__-'' Had a ham and cheese toastie with tomato and hot chocolate for my lunch.
Whenever Tarek saw my ham and cheese toastie (made by the other new girl Alanna) he was like "Is that all you're having?" I decided to risk it and said "Can I have a hot chocolate please? >.<" And he did make it for me! :D:D So basically, I kinda know everything, but I can't work the till. I don't really know how to. Hope I get a shift soon and know everything there is to do. It'll be so much easier then. Work pay is £4.85 per hour, which also makes the work easier ^__^ So yes, I'm a working gal now, hear me roar!
"Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing." -Thomas A. Edison (an American inventor and businessman who developed many devices that greatly influence life around the world. His inventions include the phonograph and the long-lasting and ever practical light bulb.)Friday, September 05, 2008
Tired!
Oh gosh. I didn't know that waking up at 6.45am for about four days in a row would have such an effect on me. Even though I have at least seven hours of sleep each night. Still so tired. And even now, I can barely keep my eyes open.
At least I don't look like that when I yawn..
Going out with Ryan after school tomorrow. Can't wait! ^_^ Should be a lot of fun.
It was so embarrassing today whenever Ryan and me were trying to find the right Careers class we were supposed to be in. Eventually when we found it, the class was packed and really really warm. But the teacher was really funny and she's nice so it was pretty enjoyable. After that had two more changes to learn about different things from different teachers. So I sure hope I can go to University of Ulster. But because I'm considered an international student here, there are a few difficulties with the legalities and finances. I always thought a loan should be no problem, but apparently it's too big. I don't mind having to pay off a loan for literally half my life. Because I know that a British degree would be recognized internationally which means that I will be able to get work more easily elsewhere in the world. That will also mean I will be able to get a job easier even in Singapore. So really, is it not worth it in the long run?
Should stop thinking about it. The more I think about it, the more depressed and stressed I get. Maybe because I'm tired. Whenever I got off the bus this afternoon, I was so tired, that I looked on the wrong side of the road before stepping out. Almost in front of a car. And the next car behind the one which almost knocked me down was pointing or waving or something. Damn the tiredness.
After a week or two I should be fine. It'll be sweet then. More things to occupy myself with. Just hopefully not so much that I drown in it. I work well under pressure. (HA!)
There may be 6.692 billion people on earth, but only a few will suit you. Are you ready for that search?
By the way, heard in common that there is one sure-fire way to fall in love, or make people fall in love with you. Well, not really sure-fire. But still pretty high chance. Are you ready to hear it girls? There was this scientific experiment where eight couples were put in a room. Then they were told to tell each other their deepest and darkest secrets, that which they wouldn't tell anyone else. After that experiment, it was reported that 80% of them felt strong emotional feelings towards each other. And some even got on to get married! So there you go. It's that simple. I guess whenever you expose your deepest and darkest secrets to someone, you feel nearly closer to that person because it takes a lot of trust to do that. And you feel safe, knowing that the person will help you guard your secrets. The other person on the receiving end, will feel that he/she is being trusted, and then tell you some deep and dark secrets of their own. This is how communication works, this is how relationships should be formed.
Like I said above, you have to trust the person to do it. Do not try this with a complete stranger. They might run away from you. But I do believe that a relationship only works whenever you are totally transparent with one another, and also when you love and accept that person enough to accept the deep and dark secrets they tell you. Sure, you may get hurt if that person so heartlessly dumps you, but long relationships, or relationships of any kind for that matter, are supposed to help you grow and mature as a person. It helps you develop and discover Who You Truly Are. I'm afraid, most of the time, we only learn through pain. From the minute we're born, we have to experience pain to know what pain is, then we have to go through a series of painful trials (such as accidentally burning yourself on a hot drink, never drink from a cup of steamy fluid, no matter how tempting. Not that I've tired it. *looks guilty*) to learn how to get through life. Some mistakes will have a higher costs than others. But then, that is just the way of life.
"The wretch who digs the mine for bread, or ploughs, that others may be fed, feels less fatigued than that decreed to him who cannot think or read." -Hannah More (she was an English religious writer and philanthropist.)
At least I don't look like that when I yawn..Going out with Ryan after school tomorrow. Can't wait! ^_^ Should be a lot of fun.
It was so embarrassing today whenever Ryan and me were trying to find the right Careers class we were supposed to be in. Eventually when we found it, the class was packed and really really warm. But the teacher was really funny and she's nice so it was pretty enjoyable. After that had two more changes to learn about different things from different teachers. So I sure hope I can go to University of Ulster. But because I'm considered an international student here, there are a few difficulties with the legalities and finances. I always thought a loan should be no problem, but apparently it's too big. I don't mind having to pay off a loan for literally half my life. Because I know that a British degree would be recognized internationally which means that I will be able to get work more easily elsewhere in the world. That will also mean I will be able to get a job easier even in Singapore. So really, is it not worth it in the long run?
Should stop thinking about it. The more I think about it, the more depressed and stressed I get. Maybe because I'm tired. Whenever I got off the bus this afternoon, I was so tired, that I looked on the wrong side of the road before stepping out. Almost in front of a car. And the next car behind the one which almost knocked me down was pointing or waving or something. Damn the tiredness.
After a week or two I should be fine. It'll be sweet then. More things to occupy myself with. Just hopefully not so much that I drown in it. I work well under pressure. (HA!)
There may be 6.692 billion people on earth, but only a few will suit you. Are you ready for that search?By the way, heard in common that there is one sure-fire way to fall in love, or make people fall in love with you. Well, not really sure-fire. But still pretty high chance. Are you ready to hear it girls? There was this scientific experiment where eight couples were put in a room. Then they were told to tell each other their deepest and darkest secrets, that which they wouldn't tell anyone else. After that experiment, it was reported that 80% of them felt strong emotional feelings towards each other. And some even got on to get married! So there you go. It's that simple. I guess whenever you expose your deepest and darkest secrets to someone, you feel nearly closer to that person because it takes a lot of trust to do that. And you feel safe, knowing that the person will help you guard your secrets. The other person on the receiving end, will feel that he/she is being trusted, and then tell you some deep and dark secrets of their own. This is how communication works, this is how relationships should be formed.
Like I said above, you have to trust the person to do it. Do not try this with a complete stranger. They might run away from you. But I do believe that a relationship only works whenever you are totally transparent with one another, and also when you love and accept that person enough to accept the deep and dark secrets they tell you. Sure, you may get hurt if that person so heartlessly dumps you, but long relationships, or relationships of any kind for that matter, are supposed to help you grow and mature as a person. It helps you develop and discover Who You Truly Are. I'm afraid, most of the time, we only learn through pain. From the minute we're born, we have to experience pain to know what pain is, then we have to go through a series of painful trials (such as accidentally burning yourself on a hot drink, never drink from a cup of steamy fluid, no matter how tempting. Not that I've tired it. *looks guilty*) to learn how to get through life. Some mistakes will have a higher costs than others. But then, that is just the way of life.
"The wretch who digs the mine for bread, or ploughs, that others may be fed, feels less fatigued than that decreed to him who cannot think or read." -Hannah More (she was an English religious writer and philanthropist.)Thursday, September 04, 2008
Downturn
Today was good in school as usual, I'm really enjoying the freedom we have in school now. But just a few bits of bad news hit me. Probably not bad news to other, but to me, it is bad news. And for some reason it hit me quite hard. To make things worse, I'm so bored. But I got some other things to do, like shower, read my books, play my Nintendo DS, but I just don't feel like doing it at all.
*sigh*
Is this what it feels like to have no friends?
"Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." -Muhammad Ali (a retired American boxer and and former three-time World Heavyweight Champion)
*sigh*
Is this what it feels like to have no friends?
"Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." -Muhammad Ali (a retired American boxer and and former three-time World Heavyweight Champion)Wednesday, September 03, 2008
2nd Day Of School
Today was so good. Things have kind of settled down into some form of normalcy which is good. Upper Sixth is so much better than Lower Sixth. I only have 6 periods of private study and the rest I'll be able to stay in the common room. A few people are already planning to put some money together to buy us some kitchen appliances for the kitchen counter we have in the common room. Which will be good considering I'll be spending so much of my time there.
This year for English Literature I'll be studying lots of war novels and poems. Both the good and the bad. Meaning the real patriotic ones, and the ones which tell you as it is. The death, the fear, and the tiredness of it all. Hope I don't become a complete cynic after this. We analyzed this extract from a novel called Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks. It kinda captured me and nearly pulled me into the scenario of which we were analyzing. And I could feel everyone being captured in it too. When the teacher finished reading, I could hear them letting go of their breath and it's like everyone is waking from their sleep. Real good book. Shall be reading it soon.
Also another movie on war, called Sophie's Choice which Auntie Heather told me to not watch it till I'm older. She says it's a great movie on war, and I think I'll cry while watching it. But I resolve to watch it after my A levels this year.
Absolutely shattered today. Can't imagine how much of an effect the full school day will have on me. I'm so tired. But, read from Zoe's blog that someone from our 4E class of 2006 went "berserk" can someone tell me what is going on? I think I know who it is. But can anyone at all tell me exactly what's wrong? That poor boy...
"Everyone is more or less mad on one point." -Rudyard Kipling (an English author and poet, born in Bombay, British India, and best known for his books The Jungle Book, The Second Jungle Book and Just So Stories)
This year for English Literature I'll be studying lots of war novels and poems. Both the good and the bad. Meaning the real patriotic ones, and the ones which tell you as it is. The death, the fear, and the tiredness of it all. Hope I don't become a complete cynic after this. We analyzed this extract from a novel called Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks. It kinda captured me and nearly pulled me into the scenario of which we were analyzing. And I could feel everyone being captured in it too. When the teacher finished reading, I could hear them letting go of their breath and it's like everyone is waking from their sleep. Real good book. Shall be reading it soon.
Also another movie on war, called Sophie's Choice which Auntie Heather told me to not watch it till I'm older. She says it's a great movie on war, and I think I'll cry while watching it. But I resolve to watch it after my A levels this year.
Absolutely shattered today. Can't imagine how much of an effect the full school day will have on me. I'm so tired. But, read from Zoe's blog that someone from our 4E class of 2006 went "berserk" can someone tell me what is going on? I think I know who it is. But can anyone at all tell me exactly what's wrong? That poor boy...
"Everyone is more or less mad on one point." -Rudyard Kipling (an English author and poet, born in Bombay, British India, and best known for his books The Jungle Book, The Second Jungle Book and Just So Stories)Monday, September 01, 2008
Working Gal
Yes Yes Yes! I've finally got a job! I'll be working my 1st shift in Cafe Krem next Saturday from 10am-4pm. Yes! Long hours=More money!
So excited I can't wait!
So excited I can't wait!
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