Wednesday, January 30, 2008

random ramblings

okokok..above is what u would see from the top floor of the newcastle centre. was there cos jordan's nephew had a birthday party there and they booked the hall for two hours and then so basically i jsut walked about the huge hall with nanny and alison. oh well. it was pretty good. learnt a little but more about children and how they are so much more different from the kids in s'pore in terms of sophistication and the like.

perhaps it's cos of the television here? i mean in s'pore the programmes u have there would be considered so modest compared to here. also maybe it's because of the variety of channels we have in s'pore. in s'pore u even have a channel esp for kids. (i am guilty of watching that all day when i have my holidays way back in s'pore) and then maybe as a result children back in s'pore will not sorta stray and start looking at the other channels which do NOT have immoral stuff in them.

not that i'm dissing the television programmes here. it's jsut that over here it's so hard to get programmes for kids. that's what i have realised. u have to pay to get children's programmes that run all day. (they have this thing called skye)

so that's my rant for today :P

that above are the 15 big stars i made for the children in my work placement before i leave. was pretty gutted when i left. cos i would miss them so much. i still would be able to see them from time to time though. :D

and in that i can probably safely say that i have failed in one aspect of care-giving. and that is to keep a professional distance. i have gotten too close to the children. but..oh i dont know. if u do not genuinely care for them, then how is it "care-giving"?

this is a true head-melt. (see ryan, i know how to use it!)

Saturday, January 26, 2008


this is absolutely beautiful. it just captured me and even without music i find myself drawn into the artist's world.

new event!

i have decided that from today on, to protect my singaporean-ness and to show that i'm proud of being a singaporean, i have decided to make every saturday singlish day. i make saturday Singlish Day because:

both start with and 'S',
both have 3 syllables,
and because i tend to be in a sillier mood on saturdays.

yepz yepz. so hor, now i'm going to type singlish like never before. so much so that people would not be able to understand liao. very good right?

yesterday i got a spongebob squarepants t-shirt. very nice one. wait ar...upload the picture.
nice right? haha. i know la..i pose so much. and in some of the picture can see the spongebob face on the shirt. haha. light up the fire today. was ok la.

quite fun also but dont tell anyone. i think if i do it everyday then i also sian liao.

lalala. have to chiong and try to make 12 more big big stars for the children. might want to do that later.

yepz yepz. i dont think there's anything much to say. er..

so that is the end of singlish day today. YAY!


Friday, January 25, 2008


*sigh* i'm really going to miss the little kiddies when i leave them. i havent managed to make them their stars yet. and today when i was going to common room, outisde they jsut ran up and started hugging me. and then when i eventually got back to tell them that i have to get into the common room, one of them went "ok then, we love u amber" and i was like "awwwwwwwwk, love all of you too".

*sobs* so really. going to miss them so much. not nice not nice not nice not nice..

lalala. i have decided to use my common room periods to see the kids. yes! i will do it! YAY

another problem resolved. i can sleep well tonight. :):)

Sunday, January 20, 2008


was at this meeting for the family and friends of the youth club jordan goes to. amongst all the things about God and stuff, what really struck me was the story which the guy said to tell us about faith and believing.

the story goes like this:

there was a tight rope walker and he decided to walk across the tight rope across niagara falls. on the big day, the crowd was HUGE and absolutely wild and hungry for a performance. he shouted across the crowd. "DO YOU BELIEVE I CAN WALK ACROSS THE FALLS AND BACK!!??" and they shouted "WE BELIEVE!"

so he walked. an expectant hush fell over the crowd as he walked across the rope. and he made it.

the crowd was absolutely wild. he calmed the crowds down and shouted "DO YOU BELIEVE I CAN WALK ACROSS THE FALLS WITH A WHEEL BARROW AND BACK??!!" and they shouted "WE BELIEVE!"

so he walked, pushing the wheel barrow in front of him. again, a hush fell over the crowd. and there was tension in the air. one wrong move and he could die. he walked, and he made it.

the crowd was wilder than before. no one had ever done anything like this. he calmed the crowds down again and shouted. "DO YOU BELIEVE I CAN WALK ACROSS THE FALLS AND BACK WITH A PERSON IN IT??!!" again they shouted "WE BELIEVE!!!"

then came the question "WHO IS GOING TO ET INTO THE WHEEL BARROW??!!"

and a hush fell over the crowd again. this time, everyone was trying to look as inconspicuous as possible and starting to wish they had ever came. no one wanted to risk his life for the tight rope walker even though they claim to believe in him.

everyone, except for a little boy. he piped up "i will!" and against him mother's protests, squeezed past those who are bigger and supposedly braver than him to get to the tight rope walker.

so the tight rope walker walked across the falls, pushing the wheel barrow with the little boy in it. all that can be heard is the muffled sobs of the little boy's mother as she watched her son get pushed across the falls on a tight rope. no one breathed.

and he made it. they crowd went absolutely crazy. he had walked across the falls and back with another human.

so that is the question, who claims to believe and who truly believes.

the innocence of children amazes me. it is what draws me to them. the innocence of a child is what allows them to believe truly and absolutely in something without question. the innocence is what allows them to love easily. however in this modern world and society, such innocence is already lost in little children.

i find their innocence intriguing in a sense of how can something so powerful be lost. i didnt think i lost my childhood innocence until i was 7 when i went into primary school. and somehow, in today's world, and all that media the children is exposed to, i dont think it helps to keep it. on the television u see examples of betrayal and other things which might happen to you in real life. what some adults dont comprehend is that children do not understand that what happens in the television is not real. they think that is what happens in real life. to someone out there who is real to them.

and at their most receptive, they learn about betrayal. hmmm...very nice. oh well.

what i find so fascinating. is that they are all so innocent, they will trust anyone. and that they will speak out whatever is on their mind. i was looking after the kids in the church last week. and one of them was crying and another lady was bouncing her on her knee and asked her if she would like a drink. the little girl nodded and said "and a biccy" (meaning biscuit)

just look at that! the innocence allows her to tell the person exactly what she wants. that is y u dont get depressed kids most of the time. cos they tell u exactly what is wrong. they do not try to filter it all out. sure they will be shy at 1st but eventually and in time, they will tell u what is wrong with them because they trust you.

no idea where this is all coming from but my guess is that it's from me leaving my kids nxt monday. i am really going to miss them. *sigh*


was talking to ryan on msn on wednesday when somehow we came onto the subject of assumptions we make about different racial groups and nationalities. ever since i came here i havent really been a victim of racial discrimination but i do know it exists.

i havent really been a victim of racial discrmination but i have been a 'victim' of assumption. like when people refuse to talk to me cos i'm asian and they simply ASSUME that i am not able to speak english and that it is not my 1st language. really surprised when my health and social care teacher who teaches us about discrimination and not to assume things and stuff suggested for me to write in my coursework that i do not have english as my 1st language. *fumes* quite cut by it.

and u know those books which u read about other people and religions and things? i've learnt not to really believe them. cos when i read the bit about chinese people, i really want to laugh. like really? are u absolutely sure we act like that? are u absolutely sure that we are all the same and that u can simply condense us all together and label us as this and that?

things to keep in mind while we are reading stuff about other religions and other nationalities:

1) do keep in mind that all that only applies to the highly committed or the highly religious. (of whichever one u happen to be reading about)

2) bear in mind that if it is just a few paragraphs, most of it is prob not very true. and it prob only applies to whichever one the ignorant researcher was researching on.

3) read it with an open mind and only believe about..30% of what they say

4) no matter what u read, try to see that person as a PERSON no matter what nationality, race etc they are.

yepz yepz. when i 1st came here. i was really intimidated by all the white people here. but as i get to know them, i have come to see them not as 'whites' but as just people like me. and i really do hope that my friends here have come to see me not as an asian but as a person too.

see right, it all started when one day i was looking at my friends and i just sorta thought "heyy..a few weeks ago i was afraid to talk to them cos they are different. but now i'm so comfortable with them it's unbelievable" and i tried to see them the way i did when i 1st came. but i couldnt. i have well and truly stepped past the boundary where i see people in colour. i have started to see people as people and not as 'blacks' or 'whites' or 'yellows' in a way, i truly hope in terms of racial harmony i have become 'colour blind' so i may see people as who they are inside.

yepz yepz. so there u go. my thoughts for today.
OH and ryan told me to say this "the weather is really cold here but luckily i have ryan over here to give me warm hugs"
there u go ryan. happy? :P

Wednesday, January 16, 2008


ok so was just going about people's blogs and then jumping form one to another. 'blog-hopping' so they say.

and then i went to this blog and saw the animal cruelty vids. about how animals who are farmed for their meat treated. shall not explain or describe any further.

to cut the long story short, i went down and when i opened my mouth, burst out crying. that was how the vids disturbed me. *sigh* wasnt fun at all. i havent decided to go vegetarian though. :P wolfed down my dinner all the same.

anyways, onto cheerier things, my modules for this semester are over! YAY!


haha. yepz yepz. free to do anything i want! (well almost anything)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

chocolate and dry air..

yepz yepz jsut realised yesterday that i have LOADS of chocolates sitting in my room from christmas and they are there above. :P have a little bit of a sore throat now. and not jsut because of all the chocolates i've been eating cos i was hungry but mainly because of the air.

u wouldnt believe how dry the air is over here. it's soooo dry! and it really hurts whenever i breath especially in the mornings when i walk to school from the bus station. ah well. lalala. and it's absolutely freezing now.

remember when i complained about the cold earlier on in the blog? those are nothing compared to this. it's so cold! i couldnt feel my feet on the walk up. and just now even wearing a jumper, scarf, shirt, tights, socks, and trousers, i am still cold!!!!! AND that's in my room! where there is supposed to be a little bit of heat. *sigh*

i'm warm enough now though, after eathing my dinner and things :D

lalala. so that's it for today! bye!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

snow last thursday, school today

there was lots of snow last thursday. it started in about the afternoon. and it got heavier and heavier. i thought it was rather fun. until there was a blackout for about 3 hours. and it was freezing, cos the radiators were off. ate dinner by candlelight which wasnt as romantic as it sounds lol. and then huddled about the fire. :D

during the black out though, it was snowing heavier and heavier. me and jordan were out running about in the falling snow. made a teeny snowman. that is the little bit of snow at first. rest of the photos below are later on during e blackout. took them with flash.

foot prints! i dont know whose they are but mine are among them.
that is the teeny snowman. frosty the snowman...

just in case u were wondering, the snow melted by the end of nxt day. there was still a little bit of snow elsewhere though. like in raffery and the like. lalala

back to school today. was great. except it felt like i never had my holidays. hmmm...

oh well. :) so long as everyone's happy.