Loss is a very painful thing. Be it losing a friend, family member, loved one, or even an object which you cherish very much.
After the concert, I walked into the house feeling very much like just stumbling into bed when I realised my iPod Touch is missing. Yes, my beautiful, beloved iPod Touch which I have saved up so much for and have babysat like a newborn infant right from the very beginning. Even now, I was in the process of saving up for a docking station which I would actually use. But all those rainbow coloured dreams fell and crashed onto the floor when my iPod Touch is missing. Know what's the worse thing about losing something that is not your phone? You can't call it and see if the vibration or ringtone is coming from anywhere near you.
Oh my beautiful iPod Touch, the apple of my eye, please come back.
Now I have to be stuck in a room to want to read my manga comics. I mean, technology is addictive isn't it? I went through cold turkey without my iPod Touch with lots of tears and listless opening of cupboards and dismantling of my bed in hope of finding my iPod. What I did end up doing is eating a big bowl of cinnamon ice cream and lots of junk food, before ending with a HUGE plate of curry and rice which I know I can't finish but did anyway.
Damn grief and my urge to comfort eat.
I guess life is all about gaining and losing. At most if I really really have lost my iPod Touch, I'll go back and see if I can get an iPhone since it's two in one. Plus I get a 3G edge which means I can get internet access practically anywhere. :)
Went to a concert yesterday. It was so much fun and the worst part was, it felt as if it never happened! There are no pictures, nothing. *slump* Found one on the internet but it's not one from Rhydian's concert. Was so good though and the suits he wore were mad. :P That's him below. :) He's the first runner up in X-factor possibly last year. I can't remember.
Like the red sparkly one. Can't find a picture of it but just imagine Dorothy's red sparkly shoes, only suit-shaped.
Oh by the way, I have found the source of my back pain. It's a dip in my mattress. Had no idea I was supposed to turn the mattress to prevent dips like that. But yes. My back pain wasn't because of my posture, which is a relief. Though I think it'll take sometime before my back stops hurting again even with lying flat on a now dip-less bed.
Lately I've been having trouble sleeping. Must be the stress from trying to practice piano. It's not that I don't like practicing. It's just that my back hurts and sometimes my wrists and forearms start to get sore. *sigh* I am so unfit.
Not that I've tried. *ahem*
One of the worst things about me going home so soon (25th of June) is knowing that I have to study study study most of the time while I'm here. It really is far too soon and I'm so not looking forward to the goodbyes at all. Now I have less than a month left here and the feeling is not good.
That picture cheered me up immensely. One great big hoorah for internet and it's funny pictures. Whatever will I do without you.
Went to the doctor's today to get my back checked out. See, I've been having real stiff shoulders for months now, which then progressed to shoulder aches. And that, rapidly progressed all the way down to my shoulder blades, which hurts. Alot. So, recently it's gotten so much worse and I just won't stand for it anymore. Not whenever it is going to affect my piano playing. My exam is in two and a half weeks! There's practice to be done, scales to memorise, not to mention the stress of exams. I can't be twisting and turning in my seat to try to ease the pain during my exam.
I digress. Anyway, doctor got me to stand up and then started pushing bits of my back, asking if it hurt. Then she came to the spinal cord and pushed in on it. Really, all I was thinking to myself was "It's the bone, obviously it's gonna hurt. Duh." But decided to tell her that it hurt anyway. So, verdict was. "I think it's your posture which is causing you all those problems." Damn. That's not good. Especially when I do try to stand straight and lie on my back to sleep. Well at first I lie on my back to sleep because it was a means to try to ease the pain. Now it's a necessity because it's simply too painful to lie on my side. Back to the point, I just can't understand why I'm getting back pains because of my posture of all things. I mean, it's not as if I stand like that:
She prescribed anti-inflammatory tablets for me to take when the pain strikes. I took it more than an hour ago and it has yet to help the stiffness. There were a few suggestions..yoga, pilates, and swimming, which I completely understand 'cos all that arm movement has got to loosen up those back muscles. But one thing though..I still can't swim.. And let's face it. Am I really going to commit to those classes even if I do gather the courage to sign up for one?
Oh! I am also being referred to get physiotherapy. Which means. Back massage!!! Yippeee! Let's just hope it doesn't end up like this:
I am expecting no spa. But still, a back massage is in order me thinks. Know what's the best thing? I'm a student here so it's all free! Muahaha, my evil plan has worked. (Only joking)
Like before, my pea-sized brain honestly can't quite comprehend the enormity of what just happened yesterday. Yesterday, was my last ever day of school. That excludes coming in for exams. But still, I can't believe that two years have passed just like that.
Yesterday to me was a blur of laughter, "yeeooooos" and tears. Tears came from me. *blush* Like that big emotional softie I still am, I cried at speeches, and at goodbyes with me friends.
The day before my first day of school, I was so nervous about it. Things worry me. Like, "What if I fail at everything??" and "What if I get bulied?" and "What if I don't make any friends?" Jordan made things lighter by saying "Let'th go to thchool" with a lisp and that made me laugh and feel better. But at that point in time, as I put on my spanking new school uniform and walked in to school, I truly thought I would be following Jordan around for the whole two years in school. I got lost easily, don't know anyone and am painfully shy.
In less than two months, I've got myself a boyfriend (I know, I still can't believe it either) who turned into my best friend and confidant. Then, I made a few REALLY great friends who I shall never forget. To make things better, I was excelling at Maths (of all subjects, I struggled at Maths most at O levels. How Ironic). AND, I made so many friends and got so many party and sleepover invites I eventually had to decline some because I had to concentrate on my studies. Finally, after a few years of waiting, I feel accepted for who I am. I got to be who I want to be on the inside.
That is what it means to me. And in spite of my rapidly gaining weight and mass, I was happy. It is still so hard to believe how I am so easily accepted into this year group. And I truly thank them for it. For without their warmth, I would hate school.
Well, yesterday is the last day of school. And I would just like to thank everyone I know for being part of a wonderful and amazing two years in Northern Ireland. Even though I wouldn't say it to your faces for fear of dissolving into blubbering sobs, I will miss every single one of you.