apologies.

first, i would like to apologise for the improper use of title in my post "irony...irony..." it would take a very determined literature student who reads into everything to find the irony in it. but actually, that post wasnt complete. actually i was going to say something like "i (think) i'm a good listener and i counsel people and give them advice when they are feeling down. (esp to e one sitting behind me in class when he is all, you know, basically droopy) but the ironic thing is, when I'M down and feeling depressed, who is there to comfort me? i dont want somebody who says something like "dont care abt him, he is not worthyour tears" cos i do care abt him. and i jolly well decide if he is worth my tears anot. so it's like not very easy to comfort me" sth along those lines.

but i was quite happy on sat(which is yesterday) cos i found out the reason for lance's anger and where it all stemmed from. it was from worry! i cant believe it! worry! for me! okok. i'll stop gushing. but seriously, when he told me he was worried that someone disturbed me or my parents suddenly fetched me, i was touched, seriously touched. and ok, i cried. he was so sweet, but then on friday, i was hurting him, i was like hurling abuse(difficult to imagine, i know, so u know how angry i really am) , and basically accusing him of everything he never done, like not caring about me, about juz picking up the cd he bought for me from the top of the pile(he told me he had to dig into a random pile of cds to get miss congiality for me), and lots of other hurtful stuff. so, he exploded as well, and said he wanted to break up. then yesterday he was kinda cold until i told him"meet my new fren, the penknife" then he explained evrything to me. actually, all i did was sort of carve a smiley face into my arm. juz like tattooing, but it lasts for a few days only and not that painful. so lance cares for me and that is all that matters. :) look at that photo above...so sweet right? i always like to see like animals being affectionate to each other. it's like so pure and innocent. but when humans do that, i feel uncomfortable. cos it's like they have onli one thing in mind. "sex" what happened to the old fashioned safety of juz hugging your partner and feeling each others' heartbeats? now almost everyone is having free sex. it's like there's no meaning for it anymore. and girlies are wearing less and less clothes. soon, you will see people walking on the streets naked, with onli bracelets for accessories. and they will call it "the latest fashion" it'll be like a nudy camp, onli on a much larger scale. gotta go now. my mom's coming. bye.