Decided to be spontaneous and went out for a movie today

Me and my cousin watched ‘My Sister’s Keeper’.

I cried like a baby.

My cousin had tears in her eyes from all that yawning.

I think she’s made of stone!!!

Damn

I did not mean this to be a long ranty post. So it won't. It'll be a short ranty post.

As you all already know, Ryan likes someone else. That someone else lives across the border. So he only got to see her last week. And then, she kissed him.

Yea, she KISSED him.

I cannot tell you how crushed I am right now. See the way I've been working to keep myself happy? It feels like I've finally made a house of bricks, and then someone came along to smash it to the ground.

Eyelashes and tanning. :)

Went to Watson's yesterday, and decided to be a rebel by using the testers and not buy anything. ^_^ Photo above features Si Rong's eye and eyelashes. Took that picture to give her an idea of what I want. Ended up using flash because that picture was too dark.

Used their purple mascara and shiny navy blue eyeliner. Blue eyeliner gets two thumbs up! It's amazing. Too bad, I wiped it off before taking that photo.

See, Si Rong too this photo. Using my Nikon D1 and ALL the close up filter lens. I love using them, it just brings out all the little things you tend to overlook in life, and it's the little things that make things so special and amazing.

Quick question, how do you get the camera to focus on the whole frame instead of just the middle, which as you can see, is a section of the eyelash. Because the whole unfocused eye just looks weird. Tried using different close up filter lenses, but it didn't really work.

I was at the scissors again yesterday, cutting my own fringe. And then, went to the pool for a swim in Jurong. To say it's a pool would be an understatement, it's a watery playground. Lol. Came back looking like this:

Look at all the tan I have. And I'm sunburnt too! Should have used my sun tanning oil. At least I would have had some protection.

Oh My

I have very nearly finished reading a whole romantic novel. And I must've cried about 5 times. While it may be due to the very touching contents of the book, I'm also sure it's because of my current mood. Can't wait to get back out to work again.

Have decided to go for full time tutoring.

Beware students! Your worst nightmare is here... *evil laughter*

Just joking. ^^

Loneliness

Sometimes, I feel like I am the only one who exists on this earth who cares about what happens. I see it all, and I want to do something about it. I am but powerless alone. With another half, I feel empowered, complete. But alone, I feel empty.

There are times, when I can see the light of my family, and the people who love me. I see their hands waving over the emotional well I have fallen into, trying to pull me back up into the light. I appreciate their help. It helps me get through those dark days.

When those people are not around, I let my mind wonder back. Back into the times when I was surrounded by them, by love, and by light. I revel in the memories and savour the familiar sting of pain it brings to me. Because sometimes those are the only times I can remember that I once felt something, once felt alive.

Losing Ryan was one of the most painful things that's every happened to me. Because not only did I lost my boyfriend, I lost my best friend, my (only) confidante, and, I'm ashamed to admit, my groovy pal. He's the only one I could burp with and still be able to laugh. He seems to be the only one who could make me smile genuinely with a single word.

I should just stop it and get on shouldn't I? See, I broke that pact I had with myself. I called him, and also talked to him on msn. (the horror!) And then a few days ago, he told me that he was "affronted with the idea that you do not know how just much you mean to me." Or words to that effect.

Well, enlighten me, because what with the silence on Facebook and Hotmail, I seem to get the impression I'm all but dead to you. You also seem so pre-occupied when you do talk to me on msn. Yes, I get that you're busy but I don't get why you're so busy to not be able to talk to someone you haven't spoken to in ages.

I should just go now. Cos my joints in my fingers are hurting. *sigh*

Peace out. To whoever cares.

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival

It's a day late but then again, I was at my aunt's house till near 1am in the morning. Had a blast. It was so fun. Played with sparklers. Which was great cos I love sparklers. But I have forgotten all about the smoke. Never ever, play with sparklers just outside your house. Be a little more hardworking and go downstairs. All the neighbours didn't seem too happy about having sparkler smoke blow into their house.

Made that 'A' above just there now. I love fire! It's fun. I actually sat and watched it melt into a little waxy puddle. It is quite nice to be able to use the candles freely.

It's nice to be able to feel partially at home again. Had a bad day on Thursday, and I came home crying my eyes out.

Cried to a great number of people and when I finally calmed down, I cried again when my granny told me "When I see you happy, I'm happy. When I see you sad, I am heart-broken. So if there is anything, just tell me ok?" You know, that was one of the first times I felt so loved since I came to Singapore.

Then yesterday, my cousin (Si Rong) got me two pairs of zip earrings. Was so touched. I lost it by accident at the pool and I was completely heart-broken 'cos they were a gift from a friend in NI. It meant so much to me. And then she went to buy me new ones cos she knew I loved them. Thunk you very muchly Si Rong.

It's taking a long time but I'm glad I'm finally able to feel partially at home here. Mind you, I miss Ireland terribly and I really really hope someone would come visit me. I really miss everyone there and it still makes me cry when I think about it.

:(

Just watched a documentary about how people entertain using extreme measures. And one of the topics was on bull fighting. Now I feel sick :(

Stop bull fighting!

Had a bad day at work. So bad, I came home early.