In Singapore

Well, it's 2am in Singapore and I just had my ass kicked by my younger sister at Stepmania. Think dancemats, only very fast and on the arrow keys.

Arrived in Singapore at 6.03pm, flight was pretty good, only with a few turbulences here and there but other than that it's fine. Cried when I arrived at Singapore, when I met my mom, and when I got home. So confused, I don't think I can rationally conceive what on earth am I doing and where I am.

Driving home, all I could think of is how much I miss the endless fields of sheep and cows. To me, my future seemed to yawn and stretch endlessly into the unknown. It's really scary.

Little things bother me when I got home. The height, and the shape of the light switch, the height of the latch to the toilet door. Even the way the toilet flushes. The little things your body automatically goes for, only to find that it's not the way you left it. Oh, don't get me wrong. I know where everything is, and I feel very much at home. Just, with body memory, I keep reaching for things at the wrong level and wrong place. (Like the toilet flush)

I miss Ryan so much, and it feels very weird to have a whole lot of girls around me all at once. My sisters. And oh, the humidity is unbelievable, everyone is sticky here and it's so oppressive. I guess I'll have to get used to it soon.

Anyway, to end this long post, I miss everyone so much, and picturing the pained faces of Auntie Carol and Ryan just makes me cry every single time. I'm just going to go to bed now though. O2 doesn't work, which is a bitch cos it means I can't text Ryan "Goodnight", or say ILY.

Read his post, and I cried. Big soppy sod I am. *sigh* Hope it gets better. I have no idea how I'm gonna pull through, but I will.