Saturday, November 29, 2008

White Lies?

Well everyone, I have news for you. I....

Have changed.

Big news. Everyone changes everyday. Your skin cells shed off, you lose a few milligrams that no one notices, etc. But this is a big change! And I've only recently noticed it. Like last week. And as most of you can tell from the title, it's about lying.

Yes, lying. I mean as most people would know by now, ('cos I wouldn't stop going on about it), I'm from Singapore and moved here last year. With great moves comes great changes I tell you, I s*** you not. First up, I've more or less stopped swearing. Now I only swear in extreme moods of anger, annoyance, and pain. Which is not very often.

Second up, my temper has kind of fizzed out? But really, I lose my temper less often I find. Or I lose my temper whenever there is something that is annoying me and is still there grating on my nerves. Like nails on a chalkboard. Ugh.

Something you shouldn't see on tv now, not with the recession.

Last but not least, it's lying. Not lying down on the bed. No no, I like lying down on the bed, especially when it's to sleep. I mean lying to people. Opposite of truth. Whenever I was in Singapore, before I came over, I wouldn't have minded lying to anyone (sorry Mommy). I could tell a lie straight into anyone's face and feel a slight twinge of conscience which is quickly smothered. But then I have now come to appreciate all the I have, and I have come to completely trust everyone and have gotten used to the complete trust people have in me in return.

Quite literally, I find it incapable to lie. Told a lie on Saturday, and it's still torturing me. Told another lie of the same sort today, and I'm at breaking point. Seriously, blubbering pile of tears. In simple terms, it can be solved by telling the truth right?


'Cos I've already made a pact with someone to not tell anyone else. I can keep a secret. Ask my friends. But whenever someone says something along the lines of "So hey, what is xxxxxx doing now?" And I have to lie, I feel so bad protecting that person.

From now on, actually, from a few weeks (days?) ago, I have decided to be the best person I can be. No lying, an occasional drink, definitely no drunken dancing, no smoking, (trying to) not swear. The works. Because when I die, I want to be able to know that I have died making something of myself, even though it probably wouldn't be visible to anyone else.

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