Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Like I said in deviantART, this photo contains the essence of my trip there. Why? Because it has be perfume (which I wore everywhere while I was there) and a card from my aunt (who was a huge part of my life in NI).
Tomorrow, I'll have left Northern Ireland for 9 months. Like I've mentioned before also, nine months ago I was so reluctant to leave, that I concentrated on the leaving and nothing else. I never really gave a thought about what I would do when I was in Singapore. It was the immediate future. I didn't think about what I would be doing now. At this point in time.
Few things that have changed. For one thing, I kinda took for granted that I'd still be with my other half. Now I'm single. Have been for quite a while now, can't be bothered counting months.
Another thing, I realised that I can feel really good in one day, then really crap the next day. But I'm working on it. I'm working on feeling fulfilled as a person and as a whole instead of being part of a whole.
I have become more selfish. I used to do lots of things for people and be devastated for them. And then I met Greg. Who claims to have a heart made of stone but is really a softie. Anyway, he basically told me I need to harden up and think for myself sometimes. Because while going all out for people is good, it's only good sometimes. So yes, I've become more selfish in the sense that...I won't really talk to you much if you don't talk to me. If you want me you'll have to call/text me. I mean, my number is on your phone right? No excuse there.
There's so much to say but no one really reads this do they? Bottom line is, I still cry whenever I think about my friends and family in NI. That's how much I love and miss them.
I love my family and friends here too. I put aside a day (Saturday) for them even though it might cost me job prospects. That's how much I love them.